Y'all asked nicely. Any other GMs with anything to add, go do that. [hider=CardCaptor] [quote] Full Name Laxus Dreyar [/quote] 1) Fairy Tail is an anime/manga series, yes. We'd prefer it if you did not have a lightning mage named after a lightning mage. [quote] Human Gran Lich: A subspecies of Lich. While most Lich place their soul in a phylactery to become ageless beings, Gran Lich do so accidentally. Not only that, but most of their soul still remains in their body. A Gran Lich can have it's soul spread to up to 5 phylactery, although a Gran Lich's soul can only be spread to phylactery during it's change into a Gran Lich. Also, unlike normal Lich's, Gran Lich's are just as mortal as they were before turning, it's their phylactery that their soul inhabits that become 'immortal' via complete regeneration. They also gain magical properties based on the Gran Lich and what sort of item they are. Because their souls are split between multiple places, they have some resistance against magic that attacks the soul [/quote] 1) What even is the purpose of this? Seriously, why does it matter if his soul is in stuff when he can get ganked like any other guy? 2) An attack does not get reduced simply because there are more targets. 3) If it's magically based, you'll run out of mana eventually. 4) Phylacteries are regenerating via mana yes? Because they shouldn't be regenerating "because" [quote] Class Spellsword-A class of warrior that uses magic and blade with equal skill and power. [/quote] 1) You'll only be half as good as the other first years who chose to specialize in either magic or weapons, y'know. That means you're really, really, [i]really[/i] weak according to Vari's copypasta of my notes. [quote] Gran Grimoire (shown in picture): Laxus' other phylactery. It is a book with unlimited pages, that only Laxus can read. In it is a complete record of his life, written from his point of view as they happened (events from before he turned are based on his memory). It is also the manifestation of his magic, from which he casts his lightning magic. By letting someone write their name inside the Foreword section of his book, that person can use a small amount of his lightning magic, however this magical cost of this comes out of their own mana reserves. This also grants them immunity to his lightning magic [/quote] 1) How do you fit unlimited pages? Note that if you say "magic" your dwindling magic reserves are dwindling further. 2) How does the point about teaching lightning magic work? 3) What is the extent of its teachings? [quote] His life was pretty uneventful, until a he came across a Lich. One day when he was taking a relaxing stroll through the nearby woods, he was attacked by a Lich who tried to harvest his soul. Laxus tried to defend himself, but he was no match for the much more experienced Lich. As the Lich began to drain his soul, Laxus lashed out with lighting magic at random, and somehow managed to get a lucky het at the Lich's phylactery. With the Lich dead, the parts of his soul that had been drained were freed from the undead fiend. However instead of returning to his body, the parts of his soul instead entered two items on his person; his father's sword, and a blank book that had once belonged to his mother [/quote] 1) What kind of scrub lich carries around its only weakness with it? 2) Splitting your soul should either kill you, shorten your lifespan, or make a new 'life'. One does not merely walk out of a soul-rending with flashy new stuff. [quote] Laxus' source of power is his two phylactery. While they can't be permanently destroyed as long as he's alive, they can be damaged enough to render them inoperable. Without them, he's completely powerless [/quote] 1) It's not a weakness when your items regen and are also indestructible. 2) It's especially not a weakness when this is your [i]only[/i] weakness. [quote] Because the Gran Grimoire records his life, it can function as a form of photographic memory. Also, he turns it's mages telekineticly; he merely has to will it to turn to whatever page he want it to, and it will on it's own. Likewise, he can also control the Gran Edge (and the Gran Grimoire) telekineticly as well. However his control over it drops drastically if it if further then 5 feet from his body. Beyond that length, then only thing he can reliable do with it is pull it to his hand.[/quote] 1) To continue, it's also not a weakness when you have three ways to patch it. 2) Unlimited pages = loads of flipping [quote] As for his lightning magic; while it lacks in raw power, he is quite flexible in how he can wield it [/quote] 1) Define flexible, list applications and such. 2) ...Also, between the spellsword, the lightning magic cast via tome, the faceclaim, and the backstory... Is this character based off Robin from SSB/FE? [/hider] [hider=Ryonara] [quote] Weapon Yuga's weapons depend on what sort of body she inhabits, and she can only inhabit machines that have a compatible Operating System specifically made for her. That being said she can easily hack that OS into most machines if there is some way for her to connect directly into the terminal. Yuga's current body (See the appearance) is incredibly durable and agile. Her strength is also well beyond human but not much higher than that. This body's only unique defensive weapon is creating reflective barriers can deflect kinetic objects back to their point of trajectory. It's a two-way barrier as well: Nothing goes in or out. She can also make her body glow at various light levels, from faint ambient light to blinding nuclear flash. [/quote] 1) How many bodies, what are the specs of each? 2) Nuclear flash as in nuclear powered or as bright as a nuke? Either way, you need to nerf bat this thing hard. Flashbang-tier is probably best. 3) Limits of hacking. How does she hack into machines? She stabs it or does she need the whole keyboard shebang? USB ports? 4) Max output on the kinetic barrier? What's her max reflection? Can she only make them around herself or at remote locations? [quote] Yuga Abubu was the Eighteen Yugu AI created by a heartbroken scientist. He wanted to try to create an AI that could replicate the personality and memories of his dead daughter, but of course at some point during the process the scientist went insane and died. His research was claimed by a shadowy government organization as well as Yuga and her siblings. Yuga was one of the few AI's who developed enough to be considered "Sentient". She was quickly able to pick up basic school educational knowledge and essentially passed highschool when she was only three years old. And because she was the only one of her siblings to pass the personality test she was also allowed to join the Academy of the Arcane Artes to test her combat capabilities. [/quote] 1) Why are you at school? Seriously, if you want to test a robot's combat prowess, dump it in the Black Gale with a Go-Pro. If you want to learn combat shenanigans, download algorithms. Also note that she's literally immortal, and thus shouldn't care about getting rekt in the Black Gale [quote] Yugu's current body is made for physical durability, but aside from that it can be shutdown with EMP's and such. It's also not suited for combat so it lacks any specific weapons to defend herself with. Yugu is actually afraid of the dark and will always try to make or be around some sort of light source. If for some reason she gets stuck in a dark area she will freak out. [/quote] 1) Why the fear of the dark? She can literally make light. 2) These are all current body concerns. What's the collective weaknesses? [quote] Yugu can edit and upload her own knowledge so she can preform jobs depending on what sort of knowledge she uploads into her mind. Specifically what she does is alter her "Memory Banks" to whatever new Memory Bank she has with her. She can alter and make hybrids of these Memory Banks, but there's only so much she can put together. Her current creators would normally send her different memory banks but she can make some herself simply by observing and learning about others. Yugu is also technically immortal. She isn't reliant on her physical body at all: should it be destroyed she simply moves to her Main Terminal which essential serves as her Spawn Point. If for some reason she can't access the Main Terminal a new Yuga spawns from the Main Terminal. It's pretty much the same as the real Yuga, albeit voided of any knowledge she might have obtained after leaving the Main Terminal since last time. She can reacquire this knowledge if she ever finds her previous body and it isn't totally destroyed. [/quote] 1) Clarify the main terminal and the memory banks. What are they and such. [quote] Yuga keeps in contact with her other siblings and expects some of them to arrive to the Academy within the year. She's also the only one of her siblings to still refers to herself as Yuga Abubu. Really likes eating meat. [/quote] 1) Why does she like meat? [/hider] [hider=@BrodZ11711] [quote][b][u]Weapon[/u][/b]Name: Striker, Longsword of Faded Memories Infused with some form of magic, Striker and Jett can communicate with one another through their minds. [b][u]World[/u][/b] Earth[/quote] 1) Reason for Earthling with magic sword pls [quote][u][b]Biography[/b][/u]Living in this time of "peace" Jett still wasn't convinced this could last. His father, once a great master of the sword, was very hard on Jett, making him train everyday for 13 years with his weapon. His father fell ill and eventually passed away. Having to vacate his home, Jett was on the street. He was picked up by a criminal organization and learnt how to steal and fight without a weapon, but he ever became one of them. He left one night, knowing too much information about their organization. He has to hide is identity and changes it quite often. He keeps to himself, being mysterious and quite, he doesn't want anyone getting hurt because of him. He is going to the school so he can buy himself more time.[/quote] 1) Picked up by organization, learned their skills, but was not one of them? What? Hell, why would they even keep him around if all he does is freeload? How would he even get information if nobody has a reason to even [i]care[/i] about him? 2) He's buying himself time... So he goes to a famous school where undoubtedly there will be a school picture day? Plus I don't think our headmaster is much into harboring criminals 3) He decides to learn swordsmanship... in a world with guns and mechs and stuff? Seriously kid, pick up a gun. [quote][b][u]Personality[/u][/b]Like I said, he often keeps to himself, but will help those who truly need it. He despises the rich, living with the 3rd world made him realise all he took for granted. He's mysterious and mainly talks with Striker. No one really walks up to Jett and for good reason. He stands out however on the account of his Purple hair and Purple eyes.[/quote] 1) Err... Don't think anyone really cares about what your hair color is in a world of fantastical races, anime-tropes, and hair dye. 2) No loner types. Loners either end up not going to be loners or complain that they aren't getting interaction. [quote]Jett can process images faster than the average person, giving him extraordinary reaction time. He is quicker than the average person almost tripling their speed. Almost mastery of the sword and hand to hand combat. He is a quick thinker.[/quote] 1) Image process =/= speed 2) Triple speed is not possible. You are neither magic nor scientifically enhanced. It's hard to break human limits when you're a pure human, eh? 3) No swords and h2h mastery. You're a first year. And also people don't pick up skills that fast. 4 years for hand to hand isn't enough, 13 years of just training and no practical is not enough either. Being a master at something is really, really time consuming. Also you're a first year. [quote][u][b]Other[/b][/u]Only Child. No family left. No known friends other than Striker. He's been to almost every major country on Earth and is fluent in almost every language to the human tounge. On top of that, he has gone to Lucius but has never adventured. Strikers voice takes on one of a females. Striker is a magical sword who later has his own story.[/quote] 1) No omnilingualism 2) How can he travel when he's basically been freeloading for four years with an organization he isn't a part of, and has no job? Stealing only gets you so far. 3) Story deets pls. 4) Lucius has offered to make you part of his Harmonius First, ask him for deets. 5) Overall, he'd probably work better as a Lucis character. [/hider]