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Letting the slightly bloodied stone drop to the ground, Edric felt a small pang of guilt inside him. Had he really just knocked his best friend unconscious? After [i]just[/i] rescuing him from the Queen's clutches? 

[i]'This is why you're alone, Edric...you're cruel, self-centered, and arrogant.'[/i] He thought to himself, his mouth (which was usually curved in a smile) was now pursed in a thin line with the occasional twitch at the corner. 

"I'm gonna go...take a walk." He told the group in a somewhat hollow voice, motioning towards Jefferson's unconscious body. "Snow, I trust you'll make sure he's alright, yeah?" Without waiting for a response, a puff of smoke enveloped him, turning him back into a cat before he sprinted off in some random direction, deeper into the flora of Wonderland. 

*~*~*

He wasn't sure where he was going, or why, he just had to be alone, had to think. Resting on his haunches atop one of the many large mushrooms scattered throughout the land, Edric stared out at the surreal wasteland that lay in front of him, teeming with the rustling of grass and the calls of strange, unnatural creatures. 

Feeling somewhat comforted by the sounds of home, Edric couldn't help but wonder what on earth had happened to him, happened to his life. His sister was alive, he was looking for her...but he ran. What if she was angry? What if she hated him? Was that why he sent Jefferson? Out of fear? Fear of facing the truth?

[i]'She'd have every right to hate you, you know...[b]coward![/b]'[/i] He thought to himself again, as though his subconscious were rebuking him. 

[i]'Your 'friends' are little more than pawns for your own uses. There to further your little game, then are sacrificed for your attempts at victory.'[/i] 

"I did what I had to do to survive...even you would know that." Edric answered back, as if speaking to a real person. 

A floating cloud of mist appeared from the dense wood, floating about until materializing beside him, taking the form of an emaciated gray [url=https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/474x/01/e1/06/01e1064e70398488d34588a561a993d1.jpg]cat[/url], grinning much as Edric did. Its skin hugged tightly onto its bony frame, giving it the appearance of some sort of reanimated corpse. Its sharp teeth were stained with blood, its virulent orange eyes, the only sign of true life in the creature were filled with a hunger of sorts. A life powered by hatred. 

[i]'Survival...such a petty excuse. Was...survival in mind when you worked with Dodo? Was survival in mind when you got hooked on emotion tea? Was survival in mind when you betrayed the one person who could see past the darkness in your heart? You know what you are, Edric...even if you've convinced yourself he isn't real.'[/i] 

"I...made mistakes. Tripped up a bit. But things are going better now, even you can see that." Edric retorted, his voice becoming slightly more desperate, as if he was trying to convince himself that his words were truth. 

[i]'Are they going better? What of your true love, hm? Heather? You broke her heart countless times, yet you have the gall to wallow in self-pity. Unaware of the pain you cause others, because they don't matter to you. You're cold, destructive, and heartless.'[/i]

"You're wrong...I do care about her. I love her." Edric tried returning, though his voice lacked fire. Now weak, resigned, defeated. 

[i]'I wonder...did you think that when you spent a night in the Queen's bedroom? Or in the Wolf's? Hollow words for a hollow man. You don't know [b]how[/b] to love. Only how to use...'[/i] 

Edric was about to search for a response when another voice cut in, this one sounding older, wizened. 

[i]'If I had the time, I'd detail how often you prefer dealing with illusions rather than the real things, problems you refuse to deal with don't exist; you deny reality.'[/i]

"That's not right...I know what's real." Edric replied, rising to all four legs as he searched for the source of the voice, the emaciated cat disappearing in the same cloud of smoke it appeared in. 

[i]'No...and you allow others to tell you what [b]isn't[/b] real. Now, come find me.'[/i] The voice replied sternly, prompting Edric to jump down from his perch on the mushroom and seek out the voice he knew all [i]too[/i] well. 

*~*~*

Beckoned by a force he both understood and misunderstood, Edric's search led him to an especially large mushroom, this one colored [i]just[/i] oddly enough to be out of place: even in Wonderland. 

[i]'Have you forgotten how to walk? Come inside!'[/i] The voice harshly put in as a rather ornate door on the stem of the mushroom opened through some unseen force. 

Shifting back into human form, Edric, with a rather wary expression, stepped through the door which instantly led to a long, narrow staircase that led down; farther than he could see. 

Descending the stairwell, Edric could hear nothing but the sound of his own footsteps echoing off the walls. Continuing down until he was sure he had passed Hell during the descent, the stairwell eventually led to another large door, the initials [i]"CP"[/i] engraved into the front. 

Gripping the doorknob, Edric turned it and swung the door open, immediately hit with the unbridled smell of hookah smoke, immediately causing his head to swim and his senses to dull as he couldn't help but breathe in the suffocating smoke. 

Stepping through the doorway almost sluggishly, Edric entered an immense round room, the walls and floor made of stone. Against the walls were a variety of bookshelves, scrolls, and alchemical ingredients that covered nearly every wall-space available in the room. 

At the center was a pool of water, colored an unnaturally luminescent shade of blue. Sitting at the center of the pool on a cushion was a large [url=http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eTHAOLyLVBE/TvIpCl816DI/AAAAAAAAD1E/7fMaaC6Cwwc/s1600/Alice+Madness+Returns-caterpillar-and-alice.jpg]caterpillar[/url], nearly twice as tall as Edric was, stern of face and holding a hookah pipe in one of its many hands. Wearing a bright red fez atop its green head, the Caterpillar at first said nothing, simply taking another drag of his pipe before blowing out the smoke rings. 

"You can take that down you know...an Illusionist can always tell another illusion when he sees one." Edric said casually, despite the smoke practically overpowering him. 

[i]"So, young Edric returns...with a mouth on him now, it seems. You had much more humility when you were frightened!"[/i] The Caterpillar returned in that same stern tone, but as he puffed another drag, the smoke wafted towards the Caterpillar, enveloping him in it. As the smoke faded, the Caterpillar was no longer a caterpillar, but a thin spectacled [url=https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/80/de/79/80de7931887649e0263b9f5266244bca.jpg]man[/url], wearing long robes of green and mottled yellow that were patterened so as to give the impression of a caterpillar. 

[i]"What brings you to Wonderland, my old pupil? Seeking young Alice? Curiouser and curiouser."[/i] The Caterpillar said in an almost bemused manner as he asked questions he undoubtedly already knew the answer to. As he spoke, however, his face and voice shifted, transferring between that of the old spectacled man, and a younger [url=http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcsps4mZ6C1qch5a8.jpg]man[/url], black of hair and possessing the same stern features of the older man. Both voices, young and old spoke at the same time, though did not necessarily synchronize; making for a most unsettling display. 

"You know where she is?" Edric asked, instantly forgetting, or at least suppressing his self-loathing from earlier. 

Taking another drag, the Caterpillar took his sweet time answering. [i]"I know where she isn't. The true question you should be asking is, does she want to be found?"[/i] 

"What? Of course she--"

[i]"You presume without knowing. I had hoped you would have grown out of this. Perhaps in your hallucinogenic fantasies she wished to be found, but this is the real. A concept you are still struggling to understand or accept."[/i]

"You summoned me...I was hoping it was for more than rebuking." Edric replied bitterly, planting his hands in his coat pockets. 

[i]"I did. Come now, have a seat, and be hasty!"[/i] The Caterpillar answered, motioning with his free hand as another cushion, completely dry, rose up from the water just opposite the one he was sitting on. 

Slowly obeying, Edric stepped into the pool, the water having the same consistency and feel of water, but it didn't leave any marks on his clothing or person. 

Sitting down on the cushion, Edric stared at the Caterpillar curiously, wondering what he was going to do or say next. 

[i]"You wish to find Alice, to bring her back to the land you call home...yet you cannot find Alice until you have found yourself."[/i] The Caterpillar began, taking another drag as he let the words sink in. 

"I know who I am..." Edric replied, though there was uncertainty in his voice. 

[i]"You know what others told you, and what you have told yourself. Yet you have forgotten what is [b]real[/b]. You have conjured two identities for yourself, both different, both flawed."[/i] The Caterpillar now blew out two puffs of smoke, the two clouds of smoke forming separate shapes; one in the shape of a cat, the other in the shape of a human.

[i]"Alexandre Frost, Edric Liddell, Henry Carlyle. The human identity you have conjured for yourself. He is immature, arrogant, licentious, rash, unpredictable and impatient. He represents your passion, your youth that you struggle to hold onto. He is as much you as your cravat."[/i] At this, the Caterpillar now blew on the human shape, causing it to fade away into nothinness. 

[i]"The Cheshire Cat...your survival instinct, also a conjured identity. He is cynical, sarcastic, distant, philosophical, flip, earnest and cold. He represents your fear, your callousness, the need to distance yourself from others to protect them and yourself."[/i] The Caterpillar next blew out the cat shape, the smoke that created it floating away. 

[i]"For years, you have played on one of these identities, like a showman. You have forgotten who the [b]real[/b] Edric Liddell is: you have buried him inside you as a means of defense. But I see him... You have forced him down in your heart, and now you must release him."[/i]

"I...I don't know how." Edric replied sincerely, the Caterpillar's words lost on him. 

[i]"Is that what you've told yourself? Perhaps you believe as such, but you know not the truth. She sees you, the [b]real[/b] you. The one who you love. What do you call her?"[/i] 

"H-Heather..." Edric replied quietly, a feeling of guilt growing in his gut. "You said she sees me...can you...look into the future? Tell me if we make it?"

[i]"Hmm...The future is volatile, always changing. What could happen and what will happen are muddled, murky. But I will do this for you...."[/i] Breathing out an especially ample amount of smoke, the cloud did not dissipate, instead wafting close to the Caterpillar's face as he seemed to stare deeply into it. 

[i]"You are on a dark and dangerous path, riddled and twisted with peril, but there is a happy ending...far, far away. But that is not all, no. She is not who she seems. This is the greatest threat to your union. But there is also a great power that will strive to keep you separated, to keep you apart..."[/i] The smoke finally dissipated, with the Caterpillar looking slightly tired in return. 

[i]"If you believe you have the strength, then pursue her. But it will not be easy."[/i] The Caterpillar finished, now (for once) putting the hookah pipe down. 

Nodding slowly, Edric, looking quite disturbed, responded, "I see...yes, quite. Caterpillar...you told me to find myself. How do I do that?"

[i]"You must reject that which you have created. [b]Combine[/b] The Cat and the showman. Become the [b]real[/b]."[/i] 

"Very well...thank you." Edric replied, standing up from his cushion in the pool. 

[i]"Safe travels, Illusionist. This is the last time we will be seeing each other."[/i] The Caterpillar bid in return, his tone never wavering. 

Narrowing his eyes slightly in confusion but saying nothing, Edric simply nodded and turned to leave, feeling the guilt that was building up begin to fade away, if only slightly. He knew what he had to do. 

He had to change...