[i]"What do I want? Simply to congratulate you. School rumor says that you were kidnapped by Magneto during a raid. We both know that you would take half an army down before you willingly let yourself be taken, so I assume you joined the Brotherhood of your own volition. That's quite a powerful ally you've made."[/i]

Kijani was only half listening to Anthony as he spoke. There was a light flashing in her window, and she opened it to allow the delivery drone in with the things she'd ordered. They would run her credit card for her purchases, so she took the large bag and set it down, pushing the button on the drone to say that she had recieved her things.

[i]"So, are you truly calling yourself a mutant now? Or are you doing the wiser thing and not dismissing an opportunity over such a simple thing as self-identification?"[/i] 

Kijani pulled the bottle of vodka from the bag and set it aside. If she was a good person, she might have worried about how easy it was to get hard liquor at 17.

"I'm not a mutant. I'm just myself." She found the question was in the air before she knew it was coming.

"Anthony, is Ben dead?"

There was silence on the other end, which was more of a truthful answer than anything else Anthony might say. [i]"Yes, he is. Why do you ask?"[/i]

Kijani felt her chest squeeze, and she tried to remember to breathe. "Why? Because he was... he was an ally, and I didn't know."

[i]"People die in this life, Ms. Ryane. All the time. Ben Parker was... a loss. One I wish had not happened, but it was an acceptable loss. Given the choice between the two of you, he was far more expendable."[/i] 

"...was he." Kijani's voice was flat, and she sounded hollow, even to herself. "I'm sure his parents and brother would say that it was not so 'acceptable'." 

Anthony's voice was almost but not quite angry. [i]"Don't tell me you're growing a conscience. This is the way the game is played. People die. He knew that just as much as you."[/i]

Kijani said nothing, simply pulled out the second part of her delivery. It had taken her a lot of searching to get what she needed, because it wasn't sold in any American pharmacies anymore. Stupid FDA.

She sighed softly as her hands started to shake. "I'm tired of the game, Anthony. I'm so tired." There were tears sliding down her face, but she didn't have the energy to care. Crying over the phone to Anthony Luthor seemed completely trivial. "I quit. I can't fight anymore." 

There was such a long pause that she thought he'd hung up. But then he spoke, quietly, with a confusion in his voice that she'd never heard once before. [i]"What do you mean, you quit? This is the way life is. You can't quit-"[/i] He stopped short. 

[i]"Kijani... what are you going to do?"[/i]

How ironic. The only time he called her by his name was now, when nothing mattered. "Bye, Anthony. Enjoy taking over the world."

[i]"Kijani, wait-"[/i]

She ended the call and set her phone aside. 


[hider=Trigger warning: Disturbing thoughts/actions.]
Uncapping the bottle of vodka, she took a swig and flinched, coughing at the burn. "Wow..." Then, she unscrewed the lid from the bottle of sleeping medication and peered into it. Sighing softly, she poured pills into her hand.

Her phone rang again, and her eyes turned toward it reflexively. Anthony again.

For crying out loud, why did this have to be so difficult? She was doing the right thing, the proper thing. Something she should have done years ago. 

Kijani started to swallow the pills one by one, ocassionally washing them down with a mouthful of alcohol. 

The people who had put her on this earth never wanted her. She knew that now, that she had been a mistake from her conception, and a burden from birth. Those who did seem to want her were punished by her constant failing, her weakness. Her grandmother's email ran through her head, word by word, and she could hear the woman's tone, ice cold and mocking in her ears.

[b]Kijani, you have surprised me. I never thought someone who shared part of my genetic code could turn out so wrong.[/b]

The footage flashed in her head. Anthony cooly executing  suited security guards. Connor in his Ingot suit, blasting a hole through a wall.

[b]To think, you're weak and worthless enough to sit around and wait to be rescued, like some pitiful damsel in distress. I thought I taught you better, but even I can't fix your many failings. Anthony, who seems to think you have potential, and Connor, who is stupid enough to love someone who will get him killed one day. Just think, if this footage gets out- Young Luthor might survive on his dead father's coattails, but your dear Connor is unregistered and too young for the treaty. He could be imprisoned for breaking in, destroying and stealing my property. [/b]

Kijani started to tremble, and eat the pills faster.  The vodka burned less with every swallow. This was the only way. She was strong. Strong enough to know that the best thing she could do for the people she would hurt was to remove herself from the equation completely. There was nothing in her that couldn't be replaced. 

[b]You ruined your father and mother's lives. You'll ruin your friends' lives. Who will you ruin next, Kijani? Perhaps that insane boy, Deadpool's son, who thinks you're his leader? Or maybe you'll take down the entire Brotherhood of Mutants with your incompetence. [/b]

Her head felt heavy. She wondered if she would sleep now. It would be nice to sleep without the nightmares eating at her. Turning her head, she looked at her very clean room, her things boxed up. The clothes could be donated, the books as well. Her few personal items, well, perhaps they'd burn them. She had no family to return them to, and Connor wouldn't want them. She hoped that Connor would be too angry at her dumping him to be sad. He could and would do better than her. He deserved a really strong woman, a hero who would fight with him. Not someone who fought dirty because she had nothing to lose. He loved her, and she refused to let that mistake spoil his chances at being great.

Feeling like her body was moving in slow motion, she took another handful of pills. The bottle slipped from her numb fingers, and she heard the distant noise as the pills scattered. "Oops." She let out a weak noise, like a laugh, and lifted the vodka to her lips once more. Her hand simply stopped working, and the bottle tumbled and hit the floor, dousing her and the carpet with liquor.

Kijani shut her eyes and slept. 
[/hider]

[@Caits]

Anthony Luthor stared at his cell phone. He didn't think Kijani was the type to do something so... drastic. But then, he didn't know her fully, did he? He rang her again, and got no response. Shaking his head, he dialed a different number. He was hoping, for once in his life, that he was dead wrong about Kijani.

Tapping his fingers on the desk, he waited for Connor Stark to pick up the phone.