You don't have to change your character to accommodate others, but wouldn't it be just as unfair to me to make me change the way Ssarak would react to accommodate Alaira? As you said, it would be metagaming. 

As for the failures Alaira has had, some actions just have certain consequences. For example, with that amorphous demon in the demon attack, you knew what would happen if Alaira did what she did. I believe I remember a conversation where you discussed it and were given some alternatives. You chose to have her overexert herself, which is perfectly fine. It was the choice Alaira would make, and it showed something about her character. That was all great, but it still came with the consequences. The same is true for the present mission. Her choices are perfectly in line with her character, and you don't [i]have[/i] to change anything about them. But you can't just have someone make bad choices without any sort of consequence. That wouldn't make for a good story.