"Oh aye! Great move, ya wanker! Now everyone bloody knows we're here!"

Great! I thought we'd established that rule of 'no guns except in emergencies' by now! How much worse could it possibly ge-

"HEY! UP HERE! THIS WAY!"

I saw the military-looking gobshite at the top of the stairs, holding another gun, and I wondered how much luck we were going to have. In the span of a few seconds, we'd lost another man to the shamblers and that other wee lass damn near doomed us all! This was turning out to be a really shite day, Jesus Christ. I saw the small gang of sods clustered around what used to be James, now a meal for those hungry fuckers. Why did they need to eat anyway? They were already dead to begin with, what sort of bloody digestive system worked in a corpse?! Aye, whatever, we were gonna die unless we did something.

Unless someone did something.

And since everyone else was standin' around like several blobs of jell-o with thumbs up their proverbial arses (save Sylvia she'd taken out another one, clever gal), I guess I needed to spur everyone else into action.

"Alright gang, I think we have two options right now. Either we stay here and become munchies for the bloody shamblers, or we follow that man and his gun and hopefully get to someplace safer. And judging from how colossally focked we are if we stay here, I suggest we get to him and get to safety!"

I took a glance at the stairwell. Between us, that man and safety were roughly seven of the sodding things, obviously not counting the two kills we had among us at the moment. These bastards were slow on the uptake, and thankfully they already had a hearty meal distracting them from coming after us. That was our chance. I advanced forward, bat at the ready, and skirted right round the group of shamblers, keeping my distance so none a' the sods could suddenly stand up and grab me by the hair or somethin', curse me own luck. I could already hear the groaning and moaning of more of the things outside. Those gunshots had attracted more a' the bloody things, Jesus-bleedin'-Christ, wouldn't it be nice. I couldn't say how many there were outside the school, but when we were running scared and away from those gunshots earlier, I counted a whole lot. Now the bastards were closing in on the school and if the rest of our motley crew didn't haul arse right now we were gonna be in for a lot more trouble than just gettin' our hands dirty.

The only thing I hadn't counted on: that the gobshite shouting was loud enough to attract their attention as well. Slowly but surely I saw one, then two, then three heads peer up from the frenzied munching to gaze at the military man. Then they rose and began their slow shamble towards him and, by extension, the lone Irish idiot that was trying to avoid them in the first place, which was me! The three lone bastards, aye they were rank and they were bloody disgusting to look at, but they were people once. The one that was approaching me the quickest was a young lass, couldn't be more than ten when she went, the poor thing. Just like that young boy I had to put down earlier. Her jaws were working together gently, even though her lower hung from one corner of her skull, the other rent from its housing by the thing that did her in, probably. Behind her there shambled a young man, looking like your bog standard shambler, and right next to him was an older man in a suit. I noticed the shiny Rolex on his wrist as I backed away, bat up and ready. Oh, aye, rich bastard he must've been to afford that piece a shite. Useless, utterly useless.

And what was also utterly useless was staying here to fight. Any minute now those things could burst in from the door we bloody came through. Quickly now, Angie, a plan, you need one.

Reluctantly, I took out the lead pipe from my tool belt and looked for an empty spot away from the others. A corner of the gym caught me eye, clear and conveniently littered with some fallen chairs. I took aim and then gave a great big heave. The pipe arced right over and clattered into the mess.

Now this was a gamble. If these shambling sods worked anything like the zombie movies I'd seen before, sound was enough to distract them. They were slow, strong yes, but also very dumb. My pipe making that huge racket over there should draw enough attention away from us so that we could escape. I hoped.

This was a gamble, after all.

Luck o' the Irish don't fail me now.