[@ayzrules], and here is my response. don't read if you don't want to hear someone's depression and shit. my dad simply believes I'm all just a pityparty, even while I am sobbing and collapsing. I think he'd rather hit me with a monkey wrench to see if it'd fix me like his engines, than to try and be understanding and all that.
[hider= don't read if you don't care about someone being depressed]hah.
I've gotten all As and a few Bs pretty much all my life- more As than Bs, especially the earlier the school classes I was in. Then this christmas passed, and I fail one class and I pretty much stop doing everything else. Severe case of not giving a shit anymore about bullcrap or anything, because my motivation to do anything is [Unknown]. so yeah. my principal believes the solution lies in twisting me into verbal traps to admit things I'm terribly confused and unsure about before I even consciously considered, so that he could pin it all on me. my dad thinks using a board is good reinforcement for any disobedience or any continued failure, and my mom doesn't know what to do. I don't know what to do either.

I'm smart- quite so. I know a great deal that everyone else in my class doesn't, even though I'm not nearly the top student. The top students actually ask me for help for a few things, though my reputation/influence/popularity/whatever the hell else people judge where they ask from isn't high enough to warrant it very often. 

and yet, my oh so little motivation to do anything has finally given out, and now I sit in my pit of loneliness and utter despair and depression, that I've been trying to hide and cover up, without remedy. Cool, right? I could go on, but i think no one gives a shit, even if people tell me otherwise. I'm so completely apathetic I've spent my past two weeks rather lifelessly. Few times, I laughed for real. not really often, though. i just kinda give up. don't have the will anymore- never was strong willed. ever- at all[/hider]