The year: 2008

One man, one glorious, stupendous, twig of a man named David was walking to his boring job at Box and sons (the leading cardboard producer and distributed in all of the lands) when he heard the call of a back alley merchant. The merchant told him that he had a very valuable artifact to sell, 'the wand of a thousand kings and wizards and stuff' as he described it. The relic had been passed down from generation to generation before the back alley merchant bought it off of amazon for a great deal. The merchant said that whomever wielded the wand would get the strength of a thousand dragons, the magical prowess of ten million unicorns, the speed of lots of lights and a whole whack ton of powers. David didn't buy into the BS and instead bought a new briefcase from the man.

Once Dacid got to work at Box.co he opened up his newfound treasure of a briefcase to find a jaw dropping scene before him. There in the briefcase was a whack ton of un-contained peanut butter along with more than enough pickles. David was confused and furious that the thing was full of all the food items and not one spoon to eat it with. In his anger he almost missed the note that sat atop the peanut butter and pickles. David read the note aloud "Dear reader, If you are reading this then that means I am dead or I finally managed to sell my Enron stocks and move to Spain. Anyway I write this so that you realize what power you now possess. This briefcase may seem like its full of food but in reality it's a portal to a dimension filled with peanut butter and pickles. 'Why peanut butter and pickles?' You ask? Well stop asking because I don't have an answer. You are capable of calling this briefcase to you from wherever and it will always come. Always. I lost this thing in another dimension once and it literarily, [i]literly[i\] busted through time and space to get to me. It's also able to fire out high rate of fire pickles and peanut butter. Now pull up your socks beacuse these next few paragraphs will be a bit dry but the are very essent-" at this point David was to bored and threw the obscenely long note away. David picked up his briefcase just as his boss came over to tell him he was doing a great job. The boss was always happy which annoyed David a lot so David tried out his new found power and shot his boss with the full force of the briefcase's peanut and pickle power. His boss went flying and someone called the police.

By this point David had already gone made with power and was fending off the athourites with broad swings of the case and the firing of peanut butter and pickles. As they began to close in on him he found one of the briefcase's other powers as a large, albino, unitiger popped out of the case and fought alongside David. Soon David mounted the mythical feline and they leapt out the window to not be seen again for months to come. A few days later a wanted poster was commishend all over the city reading the following.

"Wanted: David Boardhead
Age: 26
Appearance: He is skinny but still somewhat athletic and wears huge Clark Kent glasses. Last seen wearing a light blue dress shirt and tie with dress pants along with sandals.
Power run down: 
-Can summon Bavid the magical albino unitiger whom of which is capable of casting laser light show spells from it horn and possesses above average intelligence and physical skills.
-can summon his briefcase from anywhere like how Thor summons his hammer.
-can fire pickles and peanut butter from his briefcase and a very high rate.
-he can survive high drops from heights of great value.
-he can cover himself in peanut butter and pickles to increase his defence.
-his briefcase is nearly indestructible and he is able to store things in the pickle and peanut pocket dimension but it is unlikely that he'll ever find it again... But not impossible.