[hider=Lady Lazarus by Sylvia Plath interlaced with Chae's memories and Moksha's perspective][right][i]Lady Lazarus - Sylvia Plath[/i][/right] [b]Chae - 5 points, Atlanta, Georgia - Halmonee Evelyn[/b] [i]10 Years ago[/i] [right][i]"I have done it again. One year in every ten I manage it——"[/i][/right] "Madness?" Despite her age, Evelyn Ji Ryeŏn, still had the smokey voice of a Las Vegas lounge singer. As far as Chae was concerned, she may have been. The woman was a mystery dipped in an enigma wrapped in a truth obscuring fog. She tilted her head, and smiled politely, as if urging Chae to keep speaking. [right][i]"A sort of walking miracle, my skin Bright as a Nazi lampshade, My right foot"[/i][/right] "Well, um..." The 16 year old girl loved her grandmother--halmonee! That was the word she was supposed to be using, it was Korean. Chae had such great respect for her that she almost felt embarrassed revealing the reasons she had been exiled here for the weekend... [right][i]"A paperweight, My face a featureless, fine Jew linen."[/i][/right] "It's okay, Chaelyn." It was eerie how she always knew what to say, like she could read thoughts or something. Her smile was always reassuring. As if any little thing that you might have bothering you whilst speaking with her... that it was okay. Evelyn moved to refill the teacup of her granddaughter, and for a while, the two simply sat in silence, the occasionally breeze giving life to distant wind chimes. [right][i]"Peel off the napkin O my enemy. Do I terrify?——"[/i][/right] "I don't know... I was just sad... They kept saying I was crazy and mad, but I just, like... I just..." Chae sniffled, "At first I thought they were worried for me? Y'know? But, it was actually like they were... I don't know! Like they were scared I was going to ruin their reputation or something!" She wiped an eye with her hand, "Can you believe that! I was bleeding... and... and they were just... they didn't even care that... I don't know..." "You were in pain." [right][i]"The nose, the eye pits, the full set of teeth? The sour breath Will vanish in a day."[/i][/right] Chae looked down, "Yeah..." Another tear welled up and was quickly suppressed by the teenage girl, "Y'know, I actually wanted to... for a sec--" Her eyes widened as she registered what she was saying, "Nevermind!" [right][i]"Soon, soon the flesh The grave cave ate will be At home on me."[/i][/right] "Chae-kitty, it's okay!" Evelyn kept on flashing that understanding smile, "We don't have to talk about if you aren't comfortable with it." Another pause, filled with distant cars and idling chimes, "Although..." [right][i]"And I a smiling woman. I am only thirty. And like the cat I have nine times to die."[/i][/right] Chae's head perked up with a sniffle, "Hmm?" [right][i]"This is Number Three. What a trash To annihilate each decade."[/i][/right] "Oh." Evelyn's eyes glittered playfully, "If you're curious... I was actually reading a poem a little earlier, you may like it..." [right][i]"What a million filaments. The peanut-crunching crowd Shoves in to see"[/i][/right] [b]Moksha - I don't know this place isn't home I think - New Woman, she is very strange but nice. There is also a New Man. Where is the other Man?[/b] [right][i]"Them unwrap me hand and foot—— The big strip tease. Gentlemen, ladies"[/i][/right] The other man is gone-- I hope he is okay! Meow. [right][i]"These are my hands My knees. I may be skin and bone,"[/i][/right] But do I? I do not really know yet. There is so much I don't really know. I don't really know anything. Meow. [right][i]"Nevertheless, I am the same, identical woman. The first time it happened I was ten. It was an accident."[/i][/right] I do not think...? What if I do? Can I not know? Is there a difference between knowing things and really knowing things? This is making my head hurt? Does it even matter, meow? [right][i]"The second time I meant To last it out and not come back at all. I rocked shut"[/i][/right] Hmmmm... The things I do know are constantly expanding. So are the things I really know I suppose. As well as the things I do not know. Take that as you will. Meow! [right][i]"As a seashell. They had to call and call And pick the worms off me like sticky pearls."[/i][/right] Meow Meow. I know the other man did not try to eat me-- this woman has not tried to eat me either! I will say that I know those are good things. [right][i]"Dying Is an art, like everything else. I do it exceptionally well."[/i][/right] My mother taught me that not getting eaten was a good thing. Then she went and got gobbled up by the not people! I am very sad about this. But being sad will not rule me-- [right][i]"I do it so it feels like hell. I do it so it feels real. I guess you could say I’ve a call."[/i][/right] Unless it does. But I will try not to let it-- my mother was sad about a lot of things, but she did not let sadness rule her. She let hunger rule her. I am very hungry. Meow. [right][i]"It’s easy enough to do it in a cell. It’s easy enough to do it and stay put. It’s the theatrical"[/i][/right] I miss milk. Meow! I hope the woman gives me more food soon. Meoooowwwww.... [right][i]"Comeback in broad day To the same place, the same face, the same brute Amused shout:"[/i][/right] The new woman is sad. She is not my mother. But instead of gobbling me up she gave me something to eat so I like her. Meow. [right][i]"‘A miracle!’ That knocks me out. There is a charge"[/i][/right] When we had the other man she made strange noises and jumped around. But I think she was happy so I didn't complain. She is not making strange noises anymore and she is sad. I think I know this. Meow. [right][i]"For the eyeing of my scars, there is a charge For the hearing of my heart—— It really goes."[/i][/right] I hope she does not let that sadness rule her. I know! Meow. I will purr loudly and rub myself over all of her things! I will chase her sadness away like dogs. Meow! [right][i]"And there is a charge, a very large charge For a word or a touch Or a bit of blood"[/i][/right] I heard her and the new man after we got out of the crowd of gobblers. I was there, she was holding me in her paws and I saw the new man. The man I single pawedly saved from the vicious and stinky dogs. He barked to her in their weird human tongue. Meow. [right][i]"Or a piece of my hair or my clothes. So, so, Herr Doktor. So, Herr Enemy."[/i][/right] She got real tense and sad. Then she tried running back to where we had just come from. I jumped out of her arms because no way am I getting gobbled! Meow. [right][i]"I am your opus, I am your valuable, The pure gold baby"[/i][/right] My mom just got gobbled! The new man stopped her though. But then she got really sad and quiet and still for a long time. I went back to her then. Meow meow. [right][i]"That melts to a shriek. I turn and burn. Do not think I underestimate your great concern."[/i][/right] Now we are walking. Meow. Well I am not walking. I am being carried. I just saved a man from being mauled by dogs and deserve to be carried. [right][i]"Ash, ash— You poke and stir. Flesh, bone, there is nothing there——"[/i][/right] The new man is taking us somewhere-- he speaks more than the other man. I like him. [right][i]"A cake of soap, A wedding ring, A gold filling."[/i][/right] I'm so glad I single pawedly saved him from the savage jaws of vicious savage canines that one time. Meow. [right][i]"Herr God, Herr Lucifer Beware Beware."[/i][/right] Meow. Meow. I hope she can stop being sad. I am hungry. [right][i]"Out of the ash I rise with my red hair And I eat men like air."[/i][/right][/hider] [b]Chae, Moksha - Main st. Walker, LA - Ricky[/b] Everything seemed dimmer. As if some permanent overcast had been shroud over the world-- months spent traveling, [i]months[/i] spent together building a friendship, and for what? A small bite on the arm to end it all? They'd been through worse together-- but that didn't matter now. He was gone. He was [i]just[/i] gone and she was completely powerless to do anything about it. It was all gone-- all that progress, all that talent and skill he'd possessed-- if things had stayed the same he'd have had his choice at any college with full sports scholarships. He was someone destined to succeed. So why had fate chosen him and not her? And why did she have a vague feeling that hurting herself would make some amends for it all. [i]Breath Chae...[/i] A light purring came from her arms. She broke down again. In the middle of the street. It didn't matter. She'd been crying for hours-- silent tears streamed down her eyes, and every now and again, she'd just break down. Ricky had long ago quit stopping to check on her each time she fell. She'd be fine. She was the failure-- the world didn't need her-- she was just a [i]parasite[/i]. [i]That's[/i] why she was alive. [i]That's[/i] why she'd be fine. This loss... It felt familiar. Depression and apathy trekked through her being as the trio trekked... somewhere? Occasionally, Chae would glance down with vacant eyes at a map. Miguel was better at this. It felt [i]really[/i] familiar. She remember the poem. "A sort of walking miracle..." She muttered, "Peel off the napkin, my skin, do I terrify?" Eying a Walker in the distance, she continued, The nose, the eye pits, the full set of teeth, the sour breath... Will vanish in a day." Ricky allowing her to be their navigator was really, not the best executive decision... Drunk on her own melancholy, she continued, as she caught up to Ricky, her whispers grew louder, "Soon, soon! The flesh the grave cave ate will be at home on me. Me!" Her increasing volume gave way to giggles, "And I a smiling woman, not even thirty! And like the cat I have nine times to die!" She nuzzled against the kitten, tears wetting Moksha's fur while laughs pollute the air, "So God and Lucifer! Beware, beware! Out of the ash, I'll rise with my black hair, and eat men like air!" She leaned against Ricky as she finished her rendition of the poem, laughing and crying. "Walker!" She parroted, reading a sign, "What a fitting name!" A sigh, she backed off the man, "Think they got, like, a liquor store?"