[quote=@gammaflux] Use the pornographic scroll to bandage your wounds. (I'm not sure this would actually work, but it's literally the only idea I have, other than stripping a goblin of his clothes, cutting it up, and stopping the bleeding that way.) [/quote] - read the scroll aloud and hope the goblins find you exiting/entertaining - cry/yell/scream loud enough for one of us to find you. - attempt to stitch your wounds with the threat and a makeshift needle - bandage yourself with goblin rags (if the dm is at least 60% distilled evil you will get an infection though) - walk it off! try and tough trough it trough sheer will to live (he's been mortally wounded before) - literally pray for a miracle - find some herbs in the woods you remember from some old folksy remedy - sell soul to unsavory outsider - accept death and make a last stand against the horde - wallow in self pity - try and convince the bandits you are someone of importance to their boss and it's in their best interest to bring you in alive