Going down the bag felt an awful lot like that scene from Alice in Wonderland where Alice tumbled down the rabbit hole. But Parry was certain that if he fell down this bag, there would be no climbing out in his current state. Not until he had fully functioning limbs and muscles.

[i]10,000 Years of isolation in a Gucci diaper bag. Man, there are worse ways to die but this still isn't my favorite.[/i]

When Rikive scooped Parry up by his tummy and started pulling him out of the bag, he had to breathe a sigh of relief. He tried to grasp his iPhone in one hand but his pudgy fingers couldn't wrap around the corner with any surety. He was able to grab a little something else though.

As Rikive brought him back into the sunny playroom, Parry had a bundle of cloth tangled in one chubby arm. One part, a bright pink onesie that read "Mom says I'm FABULOUS!" and the other, a lime green baby sling for carrying around a child. 

Parry had all but given up hope as the kids started to stir from their nap time, resigning himself to sitting in the corner and being as well-behaved as possible to stop the toddler hurricane that was about to be unleashed on Rikive, when the universe gave them a break. The outside zipper pocket of the Gucci bag started to vibrate softly (and NOT like it had just before, thank you very much!) in rhythm.

[i]Oh shit! My old 5c! Forgot all about that one...[/i]

An old, hot pink iPhone in the front zipper pocket rumbled quietly, its speaker on silent, in the front of the bag. Caller ID on the front simply read "de Asshole" and underneath it "King Asshole, Lord of the Assholes."

By the time the zipper was opened though, the phone went straight to voicemail.

[i]Fuck! de Lacy was going to send someone once last night's vampire was taken care of...[/i]