[quote=@Lugubrious]
It is three years from now in IC time. Your character is on the final stretch to graduating as an ace hunter or huntress. One year ago, an ordeal referred simply as 'the incident' occurred, throwing the whole school into a tumult from which everything gradually slid back to place...or so it would seem. To be specific, the school was sabotaged from within by graduates from the school itself, a certain team KPT, and made vulnerable to an insurgence of masked lunatics shouting the name of the Order of Grimm. Only the KPT team leader, Kitty Boot, survived. Now, however, something different is afoot. Whether during a mission or daily routine, a strange portal had appeared in front of your team, and through it comes a strange figure with a hint of familiarity. Within short order, your character realizes to his or her shock that this person is none other than a traveler from the future--and their own child, as old as they are, to boot. (Other options include niece/nephew, or adopted child). In the ensuing conversation, most disturbing aside the child's mention of your character's death is his or her mention of a event that destroyed the world, a threat that they've traveled back in time to help prevent. What that threat is, what the time traveler's relation is to the character, what they look and act like, how they're met, and whether or not they have any companions (future children of other Beacon students) is up to you.
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[quote=@Lugubrious]
Prince of Seraphs – sincere kudos to you for writing almost a novella, but on an analytical level it won't earn you any special favors. Rather than faulting you for prominence excess on word count, I'll try to focus on the events requested by the prompt. You decided to go the subtle route with the introduction of Demetri, spanning over a lot of IC-time, which was a creative way to do it that nevertheless contrasted with the prompt's specification. Ideally, the child's express intent was to warn their parent, and Demetri behaved almost as a double agent, and only did it as a last resort, and after much time. Your portrayal of Abel as a hero was endearing, hinting that while still defeatist he had developed to the level of [url=http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DeterminedDefeatist]determined defeatist[/url], and I liked it but can naturally grant you no favors on that account due to bias. Also, I got the Doctor Who reference. Overall, I'd have to say while you did a splendid and thorough job writing, you perhaps missed the mark on exactly what I asked.
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I did follow all of the prompts specifications to the letter of the law, however I may have been a bit liberal with spirit behind the prompt. The idea was that the portal appears before you and the kid immediatly introduces themselves as your kid. While that was the implication is was only actually stated that the portal appear near your character which it did.

Also I have about three drafts where the portal does appear before Swansong while they're training and given Sapphire's personality I couldn't find any ways in which Demetri was able to get three words out before Swansong kicked his ass three ways to sunday. Given the Incident and that it was caused by KPT telling the Order how to open portals into Beacon a portal appearing before them would naturally be assumed to have come from them, Demetri walks out, Demetri is unconcious before he can explain. And I couldn't exaclty have him beat Swansong cause in order to beat a fully equipt just about to graduate hunters team he'd have to be the same level of skill as someone like Ozpin and even considering how he grew up I couldn't see that happening. I had to introduce him more graduatlly to avoid violence since that's sort of Sapphire's first reaction to a lot of things.