It's stupid enough to work. And so am I.
I'll see if I can't get something together in a timely-ish manner.
EDIT: Like this:

[b]Name:[/b] Dr. Mitch "Joe" Johannes

[b]Age:[/b] 32

[b]Gender:[/b] Male

[b]Appearance:[/b] 
Average-built 5'10" white male. Semi-short dark brown hair with sideburns and forward-spiked bangs. Has blue eyes and a somewhat thin face. Always has a tiny bit of stubble around his chin that he just can't quite shave off properly. Typically seen with a neutral near-frown on his face. Wears a half-buttoned labcoat over a black button shirt, red tie, and brown slacks. He's near-sighted, but has fair enough vision; he has rectangular glasses in his coat pocket, but only uses them if he has to. 

[b]Weapons:[/b]
Managed to make a sort of lighting railgun, with a spare Tesla Coil and a jury-rigged miniature particle accelerator. Powered by a lithium-ion battery; pretty good longevity, but good luck finding a spare one of those. It's like turning a taser into a rifle: it's really powerful, especially against living things. Unfortunately, it lacks punch and is not very strong against materials - anything more than a combat vest can shrug off the electric shots.
 (Is probably going to steal a gun at some point.)

[b]Known Skills:[/b]
 - PhD's in Physics and Natural Science
 - Mild ambidexterity
 - Not half bad at darts
 - A creative linguist (with equally creative cuss words)
 - For some reason, his thermoregulation is such that he never feels particularly hot or cold in otherwise normal environments.
 - Managing to create the weapon above, obviously