[quote=@Marik]
I don’t know dude, dicks are pretty rad. Have you seen them? There are some mighty fine dicks out there. 
[/quote]

As a dick owner, I can say that the aesthetics is where they fall apart. Sure, they're useful as hell. Pee wherever you want. Stick it in people. Flop it at folks to freak them out. Easy to clean, easy to entertain, and you can swipe them to get into secret patriarchy meeting places like the US Senate.

But they look like some sort of biological extraterrestrial assault weapon.