Vivian took in the words Varis spoke to her and she let out a big sigh. She looked to him seeing his features, some of them hidden by shadow due to the light of the moon. "Your right, I am not like most drow." She said and looked forward once more before she continued. " I used to be though, being a female I had better standings in the family sense we have a matriarchy. The women lead while the men do the fighting." She paused slightly. "The reason why I left was that it was not as easy as one would think. Not many on the surface do not know what it is like to live like a drow. Perhaps some due in some regard. The constant looking over your shoulder and the constant untrust between comrads, even your own family could not be trusted for the desire to be on top and to survive is that great. I grew tired of that living, and when there wasn't that. We would send our war parties to burn villages to the ground. I did not like it, not one bit." 

     She looked back to Varis to try and read what he was thinking just from his outer appearance. "What made it worse, was that I fell in love with a member of my house. He was charming ,and handsome. He did not much care for the life either and would indulge me with stories of another drow city who had a house war. One of the drow from the houses had escaped from his family and eventually made it to the surface and everything went well for him. He made friends much like I have here. Well it was close to that same relationship. What furthered my desire to leave was the day of sacrifice. We had made peace with these illithids, the deal was we would give them one of our own. Lets just say, it was like a death sentence when the flayers took you. What they do to person is beyond horror. My love was given to them and now he is dead. The insides of his skull used to nourish some sick monsters taste for a good brain. I hated my family, and my so called friends. Before leaving I killed those responsible for taking what was mine away." The last sentence was said with a bitter voice. Full of hate and anger. "Now I am here, trying to start again. Perhaps I will find what I am searching for. I doubt I will find love up here with me being a drow and all ,but I don't need love. I need companionship,.. a friend." She had to smirk at her last words and held back a laugh. "Which is just as hard to do as a drow. You likely understand what I have been through, or maybe you don't. Who knows. Perhaps when I am done with this mission I will gain some sort of fame and respect. Perhaps I can make a few friends along the way." 

      It was strange, talking to Varis about her past, of all people to talk to. She felt rather better afterwards though. As if letting a bit of history out of her put her at ease. The talking helped, and helped a lot more then it should. She still was afraid about one thing though. The horrors of the underdark coming after her to take her back. To take her back so she can answer for her crimes of murder and betrayal. Which was as much of a death sentence then any.