[center][b]Lulu[/b][/center]

Just like that, another man left Lulu on her own. Not that she really minded, as much as she appreciated Owen's unique stance on clean pants, he was still just part of the mainstream wannabe sheeple looking for a quick buck under the big bad capitalism machine. His story was one she had heard many times: loser father tries and fails to reconnect with his disgusting follower children. It was all too typical, it was almost tragic. Yet Owen would not allow himself to be released from his personal hell. She was only trying to enlighten him, but alas, it's impossible to shine light on one so dim.

"The masses...need savior, not enlightenment." Lulu mused to herself, coincidentally also naming her breakout single of 2013 from her album [i]You Can Never Abandon Your Fears: There's Nothing Worse Than A Forgetful Mind[/i].

After musing on another soul lost, Lulu actually made the coffee she had come to get in the first place. It was bitter and cold, reminding her of dreams lost and promises broken. If this were being written by someone, one would expect the writer to make a "bitter and cold like her heart" joke. However, the hypothetical writer of this hypothetical story isn't going to make that joke at all so don't wait for it. the hypothetical writer would have known that would have been the easiest route for a punchline to that exposition, but it's not going to happen get off of the hypothetical writer's back okay? Either way it doesn't matter, because this is a real thing that's happening right now, and not a story. Anyway.

Lulu stood in the lounge for what felt like however long it would have taken to read a hypothetical fourth wall break, but soon the scenery bored her. She made her way to Jeffrey's cubical, knowing she would find Milo there.

"Hey Milo, leave...the nasty man alone...I need to tell you something," Lulu said, kicking Milo's side to get his attention.

"Owen...shit is pants...in front of me."

Just because Lulu didn't like [i]openly[/i] destroying people, didn't mean she didn't like tricking other people into doing it. Lulu then decided to throw her coffee onto Jeffrey's computer, just to keep it interesting and quirky.

[center][b]Milo[/b][/center]
Milo listened to Jeffrey's rant to the very end, waiting for what felt like 10 months to finally answer him.

"Dude, I don't really see why your trying to hide? I mean this is a safe space, most the people working here are gay. I mean I don't [i]know[/i] if that's true but like...it probably is. Like we get it you [i]don't swing that way[/i], and by that way I mean the straight way. We know you're gay."

He gripped his fedora wearing target even harder, but before he could start to sing the love ballad he had composed specifically for him, Lulu walked in. If you're wondering, it would have been called [i]Is This Absolute Gay No-Homo Terror (or Am I Falling in Love With Your Sick Beat?)[/i], which is a fantastic name for a song. However he had the vague feeling that a year ago Lulu had thought the exact same thing. Milo shrugged the feeling off, maybe he was imagining this deja vu feeling, he did feel like nobody had moved in 10 months.

Once Lulu told Milo about Owen's predicament however, all thought of love ballads fled his mind. He squealed, honest to God, and left go of Jeffrey.

"So someone [i]finally[/i] had the guts to do it huh? Owen's so cool man, he's defying all the norms! I gotta tell Azzy about this! Nothing good has happened to this place in like, [i]10 months[/i]" Milo declared and, after looking at the camera for five minutes, began sprinting towards the direction he saw Azzy heading before.

Once he reached Azzy, he noticed Owen apparently trying to blend into the wall and Mr. Sarco ripping Azzy a new one. Never one to abide by general social cues, Milo proceeded to walk up to Owen and wrap his hand around his shoulder. He smiled warmly at the old man, before directing his gaze at Azzy and Mr. Sarco.

"Yo! Azzy! Sarco-roni! Lulu told me Owen here just [i]shit everywhere in this building![/i] Isn't that wild?"

[center][b]Sadie[/b][/center]

Sadie silently thanked the other two for ignoring her awkwardness and composed herself. She smiled warmly at her older coworkers "I love [i]all[/i] flowers! There's like little gifts wrapped up in pretty packages I guess! Except for those really bad smelling ones, those are gross. They still deserve our respect though uwu!"

Before she could somehow say "uwu" out loud again, Sadie cringed as Milo screamed about Owen shitting his pants. She looked over her shoulder, somewhat confused, why would such a distinguished man admit to that? Sadie would have done more, but she had a vague uneasy feeling that somewhere a role play reply was getting way too long, so she stayed where she was for now.