The men's room was nicely laid out; bolted down fixtures, including the paper towel dispenser on the countertop, but that was management trying to control the cost of things that might otherwise be stolen by vandals -- not teenagers, necessarily, so much as business travelers getting desperately drunk at a business-related convention.

"No condom machine," groaned Carl.

"Yeah, not quite that kind of place," Jared observed.

"Yeah, well this whole night's been a wash. Everyone we know is miserable or evil."

Jared shuffled a bit as he was washing his hands, and glanced over, "Yeah, I don't get it, and I'm trying to stay out of it. Neutral, like Switzerland."

"Except you're right in the middle, just like Switzerland. Besides, you're probably about to get some from Germany."

"She's Germany?"

"Oh yeah, definitely the aggressor. That's okay, I won't think less of you just because she's evil and can't keep her mouth shut. Penis makes bad decisions."

"Is that why you're with Maureen?"

"Well, okay, your penis makes bad decisions," Carl conceded.

"You didn't exactly warn anyone before this bad decision."

"My cousin did."

"Oh well, too late. Besides, she doesn't do that to me."

"Sure, but now you're thinking of another bad decision-- you're getting ready to dump her before you go anywhere."

"Are you saying I should hang on long enough to screw her?"

"That is my penis dispensing wisdom."

Jared groaned a bit as he shut off the water and dried his hands, "I think we need to end this conversation before it gets worse."

"Not like anything's gonna get solved here anyway, if we hide, they'll just come and get us."

"Great," Jared intoned, monotonously.

By the time they cleared out of the bathroom, the party was starting to break up at the hotel itself and people started to stream out towards the parked vehicles -- there was little alcohol smuggled in, so it wasn't like people were too wasted to drive. Somehow, Carl and Maureen wound up, due to space problems resulting from Gabe and Ricki not riding together, wedged into the backseat of the mustang and because Maureen and Heather were not precisely on speaking terms due to girl politics, it was an uncomfortable ride. Jared turned up the White Stripes' "Elephant" album and let the music keep the conversation from getting overly involved -- when people had to shout, they didn't necessarily do a lot of talking, and that's what he was counting on.

It was an uncomfortable ride to the afterparty. And as soon as they got the car parked and out, Carl and Jared were refugees at the bar, leading the charge. That was a new place for Jared, but he figured he'd take the afterparty a little better with a buzz. Someone already had the music thumping away, which was just as well. He didn't even care what was playing, so long as it was shaking the walls.