[quote=@liferusher]
I have just been lying in bed all day crying and my mom just keeps saying it is gonna be alright and such but when I tell her about my other problems again she just keeps saying thats puberty which drives me mad. My steph dad just said with a straight face that it was my own fault for not doing anything all day. I can say I do that but the last week I have been stressing all over thr place to learn for 4 test of the hardest subject available in my school and he just can keep saying that to get over it. I have been fucked for my other subject which isnt retakable. Even though i only need 0.5 points more out of the 10. I have screwed up my retake out of all the stress and I had been sitting on school trying to find a solution with the teachers after having worked so hard for the low subject these 4 last weeks. Im done. I will see if they have a solution for me that isnt redo the whole year. If that doesnt work out ill try to convince my mom for a far away school on the other side of the country and if that cant be done either ill just maybe try to end it. It is a wuss way but bare with it. I all appreciate your concern but I dont see a reason to excist if my dreams can be crushed so easily like that.
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At least you have dreams to strive for. That is something to go for, even if the world decides to throw things in your face you keep walking and if it doesn't work, you find another. When you're dead. You're dead. There isn't coming back from it. Even if there is such a thing as reincarnation, doesn't mean things will change. Or if there really is nothing. Then there's nothing. But, that doesn't mean you won't excist. You did exist, and there will be people who remember you and will be sad.

I don't have a dream, nor any drive. No passion in anything. Even I thought about it, but found there is little point. What if I find that something that gives me passion? What if I fall in love? What if I miss my chance of finding my cat?

When you are dead, you are dead. And you are remembered for it. So, I'd rather keep living, until I'm forced into death. Be it being hit by a car, murdered, or doing something I like, like maybe skydiving and my chute snaps. 

You always exist because you were born and alive.