[quote=@TheDarkTemplar]
[@PhoebeCarlisle]
Not sure I understand what's going on with Theo at the moment. Is she escaping Central Park after the shooting or are you writing about her journey there. If it's the latter you should probably fast forward to after so you don't run the risk of getting left behind. Just a tip but try to work on transitions, a little more description helps everyone to understand what's going on for your character. 

Besides that don't sweat it about being late just message me if your going to go offline for a while.
[/quote]

Apologies, but I didn't quite get it, was she going to the park.
We need timestamps on the top of posts XD