Was I... hallucinating?

Vivian was alive! Yet despite the fact despite I had grown attached to her, despite the fact that I was being released, a feeling of dread was rising in my heart.

"Wait," I said, my voice barely audible. "Just... take me back. I want to go sleep. Nothing bad happens to me when I'm asleep. So please just put me back and give me the drugs again..."

I was sick of the ups and the downs, sick of life. If they weren't gonna let me die, they could at least let me sleep. No one but Vivian cared about me anyway.