So here was the other one. He was skulking in the kitchen leaning against the sink and gazing out of the perpendicular window, drinking tea. Like a [i]bastard[/i]. The woman had let on that there was another wannabe-housemate and here he was, drinking tea, surrounded by boxes of crockery and the other stuff breathers could make use of. Benji watched him through the open kitchen door, so far unnoticed. Maybe just the woman could see him. Keeping his movements soft, so as not to give himself away, he lifted the weapon above his head; a small paperback copy of The Famous Five, a remnant from the previous tenants. With one deft flick of the wrist, he flung the book, propelled mainly by spin, at his most esteemed guest.

To his surprise, it was a good throw. He didn’t quite get the headshot, but did manage to nail him in the neck. There was a splash of tea and a groan - and then they locked eyes. Was Benji now visible? Was that a thing?

“Watch it, pal. Just ‘cos you’re dead doesn’t mean you can take it out on me.”

Yep. It wasn’t just the woman. They could both see him. And this one at least knew what he was.

“And what’re you gonna do?” Benji was just making it up as he went along as he sauntered into the kitchen. Some of the crockery had already been unpacked, presumably for the purpose of drinking tea, and he took a swipe at some of the china with his right hand. To his credit, the guy did manage to block a few of them, but about half crashed to the floor with a piercing shatter, “You’re in my house. I want you out and I’m going to haunt the [i]shit[/i] out of you until you and your girlfriend piss off out.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Oh, really? I think she might be into you,” Benji leaned back against the fridge and folded his arms, “Now get out.”
 
“That’s bestiality and I’m not into wolves,” Countered the breather in the same sing-song voice while Benji’s face twisted in rage, “And no way. I paid for this house.”

“If I hadn’t died, I’d still be paying for this house. Life sucks, then you die. Then it sucks, believe you me. Now get out.”

The breather did not get out. He finished the rest of his tea and gently placed the mug on the floor, presumably explicitly so that it could not get thrown off the table. All the while, Benji glared at him, visibly seething.

“Look,” he said, when he was finished, “From one dead guy to another: sometimes you need to put up with stuff you don’t like. Like housemates.”

“Yeah, well, as much as I like the idea of chilling with Casper and Jacob F. Marley, you’re not actually [i]dead[/i], are you, mate?” He picked up his trusty copy of Five on Treasure Island and gently slapped his new ‘housemate’ across one cheek and then, dodging the attempt to snatch it from him, the other, “Books don’t hit ghosts.”

“I’m more of a Lestat. There’s different kinds of dead.”

No. No no no no no no no. Under no circumstances. After a moment, Benji became aware that he was just staring.

“You done with the tantrum?”

This wasn’t happening.

“You call this a tantrum?” Benji had been trying not to lose his cool, but his voice was fluctuating in both pitch and volume as he headed toward the door and swiped at another cardboard box on the table, which he would later notice did not clatter like crockery, “You haven’t seen anything yet. And for the record, if I find out I’m living in [i]fucking[/i] Twilight, I’m going to go the full Buffy, just with better tits and much. Worse. [i]Fucking[/i]. LANGUAGE.”

He slammed the door so hard behind him that the wooden thing nearly bounced off the hinges, but, apparently, the doesn’t-breathe-r wasn’t done. He opened the door behind him and shouted, “Slam the door one more time and I’m calling an exorcist, you [i]wankstain[/i].”

There was only one thing to do. The path lay out before him as clear as a field in spring. Holding his fingers up in the unmistakable ‘v’ sign, he slowly walked up to the door, and slammed it in the apparently-not-breather’s face. His face softened into a filthy grin as he heard a few choice, strangled vowels from the other side. 

[i]Beautiful.[/i]