[quote=@drallinix]
[hider=character info]✎Name:
 Vex Ranthos

✎Age:
 18

✎appearance
Vex stands at 6'1 and is athletically built. His eyes are verdant green, and he has spiked black hair. Generally he wears glasses with transition lenses and a black leather jacket with jeans. He has three scars on his chest from an accident with a mech. 

✎Sex:
 male

✎Nationality:
 American Imperium

✎Character Type:
 military

✎Rank/Title:
 knight

✎Job/Position:
 mech pilot

✎History:
 Born into the "Holy" American Imperium he was raised by poor parents among the dregs of society. Every day he watched his family and others struggle to survive in the poverty. Finally came the chance he had been waiting for an underground resistance. To small as of yet for a full out revolution they began to attempt to get the children to rise the ranks. He strived for excellence hoping to escape the poverty in which he was born. He worked harder than any of the others rising through the ranks of the military trying to excel in his service.

When the Resistance cell was discovered it was stamped out. This included his family and many others he knew. Rather than speak out he actively aided the military in hunting them down further securing his place. He had found his true passion serving as a mech pilot and strived every day to keep this alive. That is where his history ends and our story begins

*If you don't know this reference don't ask; it's a spoiler.
† Do not for the love Megatron actually use that personality type indicator as this section. Well I mean do if you want, but at least write something. (idk this reference)[/hider]

[hider=mech info]Name/Designation:

panzerfaust Paladin

Faction:
American imperium

Type:

bipedal, remotely operated

Dimensions:
 
2x3x2

Appearance:
 
[img]http://cdn.wonderfulengineering.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Space-robot-wallpaper-hd.jpg[/img]

Armour & Armament:

.80 caliber semi-automatic assault rifle, High frequency vibration knife stored on left leg, and a single hydrogen grenade

Production History:
 He has no freaking idea, he pilots the thing he didn't build it.[/hider]

[/quote]

I'm just going to break this down point for point.

-The writing, in this submission is not up to the minimum standard of what I considered Advanced. This isn't a discussion; as GM it's my prerogative to dictate standards.

-I am however, not some elitist snob. I'm more than happy to have you join the RP if you're willing to buck up the standard a bit, and I am willing to help however I can.

-The sheet just isn't long enough. Though fair enough if it's not complete, I mean there's asides not edited out.

-An American mech would not have Panzerfaust in its name, or anything remotely 'panzer' associated with it.

-The lack of characterisation other than 'I killed my parents 'cause mechs are cooler.'

-How is it piloted and remotely operated surely it's one or the other? Unless you're using the word pilot to refer to control in general?

-Dimensions 2x3x2 what? Metres? That's pretty small and very oddly shaped.

-As for the picture even if it is for illustrative purposes, it doesn't fit the setting. We're somewhere between 'real-robots' and quasi 'superrobots' not ultra sci-fi interstellar mechs.

-I just generally feel you may have skimmed the concept, jumped on the word mech and filled in some blanks.

I don't mean to sound overly harsh, but I don't think adequate thought/effort was put into this application.

I understand it is a work in progress and the final product may invalidate a lot of the above points, but I just wanted to express my concerns for what I can see. :lol

Nonetheless, I am happy you expressed an interest and would wish to join, if you're willing to address my issues, I'm willing to discuss anything I can do to accommodate.