Awesome, I made it! Now to respond to Terminal’s review. [hider=Response] First criticism — I can totally see where you’re coming from on this, and I even wondered if it was worth including. The main reasons I did it, as you guessed, were to A) give a false sense of hope and to B) show how circumstance did indeed conspire to screw him, and also C) just for the sake of consistency. They went outside, so I felt like writing about them outside. I guess it’s just a quirk of mine. Although, yes, I can totally see why it would see out of place, and I figure I could’ve established those things through other means. Second criticism — Okay, so… How do I explain this one? I guess this isn’t a very good reason, but punt returner isn’t the most *glorious* position to hold on the field, per se. And more as an act of pity, as well as perhaps hope, Coach Robinson wanted to place Max with the defensive backs (which aren’t nearly as beefy as defensive linemen), because he could’ve played safety, specifically free safety, and have to potential to save the game, stop a big play, etc. They also aren't necessarily the burliest people on the field either, so I didn't think it would be a long-shot. Free safeties appeal to Max’s sense of analysis as they are far back and watch a play unfold before trying to stop the ball—I tried to show this as Max watched Reid coming for him. Though, alas, I could’ve just as easily injured Max as a punt returner, so I concede your argument. Third criticism — I tried to be vague here, but didn’t realize it would lead to confusion. The moment Max had fallen and [i]very[/i] obviously injured himself, Mr. Palmer got up and left from where he was sitting in embarrassment. I know, shit dad right? But yeah, it’s not like he was never there to begin with. Oops! I mainly just didn’t know how to write that fact without explicitly stating so (which I didn’t want to do), so… Again, oops. [/hider] Edit: I also need to be more careful about what I should include in my story. Before writing, I wrote a mock CS for Max, just so I'd know what I'm working with to maintain consistency, but there were things in his CS that I left out from the story, because, well I myself already knew it. Like the fact that Mr. Palmer played football in college but never went pro, thus explaining his wanting to live vicariously through his two sons. Oh well. ^^;