I'm trying out a kinda new style with this one and it seems too clunky and formal (I normally try to use the vernacular, see). Even though I really like the story and the lie it encapsulates, it just... UGH it doesn't read right! Damn, this is what I get for stepping outside my comfort zone.

But I suppose I'm here to improve, not to win (though winning would be nice!). So I think I'll keep it. Evem though it pains me to do so.