[Indent][i][b]Collab between Lalia and Hex[/b][/i][/indent]

[color=cyan]"....And that's when he said to me I thought you brought it from the shuttle!"[/color] Nik explained talking had slowly evolved into drinking and of course drinking slowly turned back to talking. The Drell had spent the last indiscernible amount of time as most old soldiers do when they drink talk of old war stories. Though these stories were special to a form they were all stories of his interactions with the squad members  they had lost. It was his way of honoring them, of giving them the respect they deserved. To mourn for them would be accepting loss, accepting death. Nik had never really learned to accept death and instead choose to honor how they lived. Sometimes he even forgot that they died at all and was able to convince himself that they just had to go away. People also go away sometimes and maybe when he was least expecting it around that corner would be a familiar face.

Time had progressed slowly as it usually did without regard to those it affected. Their only source of estimation being the bottle of liquor that slowly dwindled down with each pass of hands. Once a flowing ocean it was all but a small puddle at the bottom of a prison of glass. Omega was funny like that with no sun or stars to speak you had to make an actual effort to be able to tell even for a moment how much time had passed or how little for that matter. The jubilant celebrations in the street had slowly died down, the roar of people become a distant murmur punctuated by the occasional croak of one of the pipes in the building trying to rush water from point A to point B. It was times like these that the great sprawling pit of darkness seemed almost normal as maybe if you closed your eyes and thought about it you could be anywhere else in all of known space and not the den of thievery and debauchery that it was.  

It was these few hours of occasional piece that made it so Nik didn't leave all those years ago. It was at these times when he could recollect and think without having a gun pointed at his head that the thought crossed his mind that maybe it was all worth saving. All the people he had lost, the friends that had died, and the things that he had done. Because maybe if somebody hit harder enough against all of it, the inherent standard state of the system would change. It was something that helped himself get up everyday because for every gangbanger he had shot in the head there had been a normal person just trying to make ends meet. 

[i]But who am I thinking all this sentimental crap? You'd think I've gone and become a school boy again. No you know why you're here Nik, you're here because you want blood. Blood to fill the holes they created.[/i] Nik shook his head clearing it of the silliness of the midnight reverie that had slipped past his alcohol induced weakness. He passed what little remained of the bottle over to Raya and wonder what was he doing? Nik wasn't the type to share bottles and swap stories. It was easier to drop people by the wayside when it was convenient when you didn't spend the time learning about them. You didn't get hurt that way, because you didn't care. That was his modus operandi it was easier to be a hardass than it was to be a real person, he figured that one out through years of tribulation.

Raya chuckled at Nik's stories as he told them, and for some reason they kept getting funnier. But maybe that was due to the alcohol. She didn't care though, she was having a good time drinking and letting her mind go fuzzy. It had been along time since she last became anything close to drunk, but this was nice.

She had let Nik do most if not all the talking, as she could tell that he needed it. He had too much crap stuffed inside and it wasn't healthy for short lived species, it made life shorter for them. Even though he didn't talk about his early stuff, what he did unload was enough to keep his head. Or at least that was what she thought. It kind of surprised her how little she knew of her leader. But then you didn't need to know much, to know that they have your back or make good calls. Plus, it wasn't like she knew a whole lot about the others either, she just never took the time too. But if she did, knowing her luck if they didn't die fighting they would die of old age. So either way she would be losing a..... a... she couldn't bring herself to even think of the word.

Thankfully Nik passed her the bottle that was now dangerously low to being empty. She stared at the bottle for a moment before take a small swig. The burn that the alcohol when they first started drinking was now just a warm tingling feeling. She handed the bottle back to Nik before staring down at her feet. They had been silent for a while, both with their own thoughts, both either trying to think of something to say or just lost in their minds. They were surprisingly similar the two of them, though Raya was never great with words not like Nik anyway.

At that moment though she was in an internal battle, as a part of her wished to open up and tell someone about her past. But the other side didn't want to talk about it, it didn't want to share. It was her past anyway, her pain and no one else's. Why did she cling to her pain like some prized possession? It was all she had, if she shared it what would she have left?

It was a depressing thought, but she quickly shook her head and looked at the Drell. She smiled slightly before laying back on the bed, with her legs over the side. She looked up at the ceiling and watched as it seemed to dance. [color=blue]"Oh Nik! I see dancing stars!"[/color] She said before giggling. Realizing that the sound coming out of her mouth was something new and foreign, she placed a hand over her mouth but it wasn't enough to make her stop. 

[i][color=blue]Damn alcohol![/color][/i]

Giggling that was a sound that Nik almost had forgotten about. He was accustomed to a plethora of sounds but giggling was not one of them. The sense of joy that came from it was a foreign concept, they were not the sounds of anger that he had become closely acquainted with. For those sounds to come out of Raya well it only added to the disconnect. Raya was a lot of things she was a soldier, hard as stone and somebody the Drell knew had gone through the baptism of fire and made it out the otherside. But that was all he really did know of any of the squad. He knew of them as soldiers and not much more than that. He never asked about their families, what happened before they met him. He never needed to ask because it didn't matter to him, they were guns, tools to an end and that was good enough for him.

His attention was drawn to the ceiling and the “dancing stars”. The light that drifted in from the window, the oversaturated neon slowly pulsing was splashed upon the ceiling. Every minute almost upon the dot, the colors outside would switch and the ceiling would be bathed in colors of first blue, then green, red, yellow and everyone in between. These small flashes illuminated the room playing off of the broken shards from the mirror casting them back up into the ceiling and back down off of anything with a shine to it. This drunken rainbow illuminating blue and green faces as they watched the show of light dance above them, a tiny sea of stars in the place without a sun. The Drell finished the last of the bottle and without much talking raised to his feet and walked by the window something on his mind.

He rose the bottle up to where the light was slipping in directly into the path. The light caught in this makeshift prism defused catching on the liquid still clinging to the bottle. The light became diffracted, each color shining through and as he tilted the bottle it warped casted ghostly images upon the ceiling and the room. Shapes of indiscernible height and size morphing and seemingly dancing about. It brought him back to a place far away it was a trick that he first showed his brother one day when he was sick to cheer him up all those years ago. It seemed so close, so vivid that he could almost touch it. But the picture morphed to a hospital bed soon afterwards, Nik got the call hours earlier but he had to ignore it, he had work, he had criminals that needed to be caught, he had his job. When he finally got around to listening to it, it didn't matter. No matter how fast he moved, no matter how quickly he ran, he would always get there too late. He would never did to get to say goodbye, he never did get to say he was sorry. 

Then he was back in the present still moving the bottle about playing with the light. He let out a sigh and nothing more, the alcohol at least dampened his memory. He smiled shaking his head and put the empty bottle down upon the windowsill free the continue to cast its own little light show. He walked back over to the bed and laid back feeling the bed catch as he lay there next to Raya, shoulders touching as his attention was drawn back up to the ceiling above. The first words that came out of his mouth was not a question or even a statement. It just was a truth or at least what Nik thought to be the truth. [color=cyan]”We are all terrible people aren't we?”[/color]

Raya watched as the lights danced and moved across the ceiling, in her buzzed/drunken state she found it all rather entertaining. She could see the outline of the Drell walk over to the window, she wasn't sure why he did so but the lights on the ceiling suddenly changed. The way they danced reminded her of the time shortly after waking up from her coma. She went into the stripping business, she made a lot of money that way. Though she made more selling herself. g

She suddenly wondered if that was something to talk about, but then that might end up with them talking about why she got into it. Nah, it was best not to talk about such things. Plus she was sure the Drell knew something about her dancing, as she had done some cover work for the team. She posed as a stripper, in addition of getting the information they needed she got over three hundred credits.

She was suddenly pulled from her thinking when Nikusiil laid next to her. She could feel his shoulder rubbing next to her's. Then he asked a question, but she could tell that he didn't mean it to be. Turning her head slightly so that she could see the Drell’s face she smirked. [color=blue]"No..... well at least Daro isn't, she just runs with the wrong crowd."[/color] She said coolly before looking up at the ceiling again. She watched the colors dance for a moment before continuing. [color=blue]"I don't think Haze is horrible, he has too much honor. Sure he may have a past but who doesn't on Omega? And Ardan, well I don't know him so I can't say anything really..... You, well you must have some good or else you wouldn't be doing this."[/color] She paused again as her thoughts suddenly jumbled together and she forgot what she was talking about.

[color=blue]"All I know Nik..... is that I am a horrible person. I am an Ardat-Yakshi only without the condition, I enjoy the hunt and the kill.... I draw out their death sometimes unnecessarily so, and I like it. So I don't think you guys are terrible, but I know I am."[/color] As she listened to her own words she thought of all the people she killed and she felt pleasure and nothing. Yes, she was a terrible person and she had no idea what the Drell saw in her.
[color=blue]"Why did you offer me to be on your team? .... you watched me torture a Krogan worse than Jek did. What made you think a psychotic Asari would make a good addition to your merc group?"[/color] She asked as it had been bugging her for a while, she just never had the chance to ask. Until now that is.

[color=cyan]"What was it? Seven years ago now? Back when we both were still working independently, I as the lone mercenary vigilante type and you as the ruthless Asari Huntress. We were both hunting after that Krogan. What was it trafficking, murder something or another. When we both eventually got to him and you started to butcher him. Well I saw something you know, I saw something in your eyes."[/color]He remembered it vividly, the scenes of that night began to slowly flash through Nik's head like the lights above as he continued to speak 

[color=cyan]"I saw an all too familiar look in your eyes, a look that a young drell had many ages ago, when he was barely a man. His brother had overdosed and his mother had committed suicide all within the span of a month all that was left of his family gone. The look of anger at the world that took away everything. It is a very particular t anger can not be taught.  Maybe that's why I contacted you again later, maybe that's why I did not shoot you on sight, maybe that's why I told you my name. And for the rest of it,  you proved that you were strong and capable. I don't care about the past or what you are thought to be because that did not matter to me. What mattered to me then and now is that you did your job well."[/color] Nik explained gaze still fixed upward at the ceiling.

[color=cyan]"And so that is why you and Jek are different. Killing made Jek into a Monster. You, well I reckon monsters made you into a killer. The same goes for everybody else here. In my eyes, you are no worse then any of the others that I drag around to go dance with death. Maybe your actually better because at least I'll know you'll make it abundantly clear that you want me dead. Because subtlety just ain't your style. "[/color] He explained in his stereotypical blunt manner.

Raya kept her eyes on the ceiling as Nik spoke, she didn't even look at him when he revealed some of his past. She wasn't going to make a big deal about it, she wasn't going to pester him with question or pity him. She knew that what he told her, he told in confidence. She wouldn't bring it again or repeat what he told her to anyone, and maybe that was why he said what he did. He knew that she could keep her lips sealed and that she wasn't a gossip. But now that she knew a little about him, she could understand why he was so driven. Losing everyone you love could either break you and make you a mess or it could break you for a moment before making you into something new. Whether for good or bad it would be hard to tell. In this case a little of both.

[color=blue]"You got that right."[/color] She said, but to either monsters making her a killer or about her blunt nature was unclear. She just stared at the ceiling and the colored lights that danced there. As she watched the lights she reached out to find Nik's hand, once she did she brought it up to look at it. It looked much like her's only the two middle fingers had a webbing between them, why she wasn't exactly sure. [color=blue]"So I heard if people lick your skin they hallucinate or go on some sort of acid trip."[/color] She said as she looked at his hand. Before he could say anything she propped herself up on her elbow and with her other hand she gently touched his chin so he would move his head to the side. Then she licked the side of his face, before laying down again with a slight giggle escaping from her lips. 

She watched as the colored lights on the ceiling grew more vibrant, if anything this was mild compared to the drugs she did in the past. Though this was the most fun she had in decades without killing anyone, even if it was just drinking and listening to stories. She was even for a moment happy or at least content, it was something she hadn't felt in a long time.

The two stayed like that for a long time and talked a little bit more but in reality they stayed mostly silent. The hand that Raya had grabbed earlier laying limply in hers feeling the warmth. The face licking had caught him off guard his entire body going stiff and he had to fight the inherent reflex to pull away but in reality it actually didn't feel that bad.  Eventually though the swell of alcohol took its course though and overtime eventually the Asari fell asleep next to him. Nik was at this point too tired and too beyond himself to do anything about it and so he simply readjusted her picking her up gently and laying her back down so that her head was upon the pillows and pulled the sheet up over her. He did not sleep though he let out a small sigh sitting at the foot of the bed and for the next hour went over his weapons and his armor polishing and running routine maintenance. When this was finally done he stood up and walked back over to the window peering out at Omega down around him. He activated his omni-tool and spoke gently into it recording another message for another day.

[i]Excerpt From The Journal of Nikusiil Vos.[/i]

[indent][i]What do we search for? What is it that drives us forward? Is it just the simple act of living that all races have in drive or is it something more than that. Is it something else that we strive for, something that the alcoholic finds in the bottle, the druggie inside the needle, and the lovers in the arms of one another? A transcendence. an almost religious feeling of belonging and knowing where we are in the moment and knowing that you do indeed belong. People find this transcendence in all sorts of things: be it power, revenge, the company of drinks with friends, looking up into the sky with somebody closer and wondering about life or maybe finding a like soul in the darkness. I've learned in my time here that whatever this dream is sometimes it is the only thing that can drive you forward and sometimes it is all you got left.[/i][/indent]


[center][h1]End Of Chapter 1[/h1][/center]