As Sana pushed Hugh, he staggered and fell back, catching himself and planting himself in a sitting position. He thought it was smooth, but he realized that he fell because Sana pushed him and he was suffering from blood loss, so he didn't have very good balance in the first place. He seemed to bob back and forth, feeling the adrenaline wear off from the fight. He was so lost, he didn't even notice that the giant orc had sat down to keep an eye on him, until the orc said some orders to him.

Hugh nodded, looking a little dazed from the ordeal, as he rocked back and forth. He finally started looking around, noting the suddenly missing eye from the body in front of him and the missing arrow he had stabbed into its chest. "Huh." He grunted, not in a particularly caring mood. One thing was for sure, he was in a more weakened mental state from before. As soon as he regained his strength back, he might be a little more alert, and back to his former self. 

He started playing with his curiosity a little more, looking from different body, to body, examining them. He soon came to the body of the one he had killed, only there was a new feature to this one. It had no head. In a moment of realization, he skittered backwards, crawling on his back. There was fear in his eyes as he stared at it, "All dead." He said in a more panic attacked whisper. He put one hand to his head, covering one eye, and holding a little of his own hair. His breathing was faster as he looked back at the headless corpse.

It had been so long since he had felt or seen any triggers for these flashes of memories of decades ago. A headless corpse wouldn't have triggered anything not too long ago. Now it brought back memories of when Hugh was much younger. More stupid and frightened, but now he felt like that young Hugh. The little 20 some years old paladin from the last battle. All of his friends had been crushed before his eyes, and when he came back to find them, their bodies were desecrated, defiled. Some of them were stripped naked and hung from posts. Some of them were headless, and their heads were stuck on spears.

[i]Count to four, inhale. Count to four, exhale.[/i]

He felt like he was somewhere else, looking at all the different mangled bodies. He felt like he couldn't breath from the stress. His heart beat loudly, pounding in his ears, and he couldn't hear anyone. Before he knew it, everywhere he looked, he saw something from his past. Faces of friends he had lost passing before his eyes. He started mumbling different things, meaningless to anyone else, but to him, they were the memories. They were names and places of where he met them, and where they died.

It was a long list, as he covered his eyes with his hand, and kept going. It was comforting to him, somehow. He hadn't forgotten anything. He remembered everything. "I'm sorry, I wasn't good enough." He said, finally finishing the list. His face looked tired all of a sudden, as the trigger slowly subsided, and he came back to reality. He seemed more sullen than before, looking nearly exhausted.

It was no wonder why this memory was triggered and was so lucid. He didn't just remember the things about his family. He remembered everything that came before, that caused different struggles for him to deal with as he moved forward in his life. He felt tired, now. Not just tired from the moment. He felt tired from all that he had gone through. It seemed like every time he settled down, some kind of tragedy took everything from him and stole away any semblance of happiness he tried to have.

He just needed something to eat and drink, and he would be back to taking names and cracking skulls.