Hello mifune. You may need to add more quality to your CS, attempt to make it more detailed, use a spell-checker, ETC. Also, explain his garrote wire in more detail? How does it form into weaponry? Why would a garrote wire even cut? How does a random gangster re-wire a soldier- actually, why was a fifteen year old, or a guy younger than that, even a soldier? 

Sorry if I'm rambling. Just look over it some more?