Though it felt like forever to Amber, it seemed to have happened all too quickly to Eve. She was preparing for just about anything she could imagine. Outrage at her presence. Contempt. Disdain. Pain. Confusion. Indifference, maybe even relief or happiness if she was really lucky.

[color=f7941d][b]"Yo'..."[/b][/color]

That was all he could bring himself to say before his knees gave way, the impact knocking Eve's balance off, rising up before she found herself on the ground. And then he looked down, sobbing. Sobbing? That didn't make sense. Why was he crying? Who was gone? Why did this upset him so much? Were they coming back? Sadness wasn't at all what she anticipated. And then back to her, tears falling down his face.

[color=f7941d][b]"Howlite is gone!"[/b][/color]

And then it hit her like a brick. It wasn't like Reggie's tears or Aquamarine's. She'd only seen one other person cry like this, and she remember all to well the reason.

Those weren't tears of sadness. Those were tears of grief.

Time slowed to a stop.

Howlite. That was the grey gem. 
She was dead, and until Amber had said it, she didn't even remember her name.

She shouldn't be. She couldn't be. It had to be some cruel prank that Amber was pulling off out of spite. It had to be a nightmare. And yet it wasn't. It took a few moments for her to accept this, but it wasn't. She knew it wasn't. Amber wouldn't do that, and her mind couldn't think of something she thought of as so impossible.

She was dead.

The thing that Evenkite expected would happen to her before anyone else.
She was dead.
Not her.
Howlite.
She, the gem who would most likely not have a real future, wasn't dead.
The one who had a decent chance was.
The who would've mattered more that she ever could.
Worth more than she'd ever be.
Howlite.
Howlite.
Not Evenkite.
Howlite.
It was wrong.
It was unfair.
[i]
[color=a2d39c]"Your gemstone breaks, you die. And though it's hardly fair, ours can break easier than just about most every other gem."[/color][/i]
It should have been her.
She wouldn't last long anyways.
She hadn't done anything useful for them.
Not for anyone.
Not even herself.
Useless.
Worthless.
Good for nothing.
Only hurting others and making mistakes.


[color=f7941d][b]"Yo' should of done something..."[/b][/color] She'd hear him mumble this over and over, and though he was clearly talking about himself, and Eve knew that...

[color=fafabe][i]Could you've done something?
[/i][/color]

She knew very well that she couldn't protect the younger gems even a quarter as well as Bloodstone or Aquamarine could, but had she been there, had she been there...

[color=fafabe][i]Maybe you could've done something.

Perhaps it could've been you instead.

Would it have been better that way?[/i][/color]

She pushed these thoughts away. Right now, Amber's pain was more important than her. 

After what had felt like an eternity but what was probably only a few long seconds, she wrapped her arms around Amber's neck -they were too short to properly hug him- and with one of her hands began to gentle ruffle his hair as Talc would do for her when she was upset or scared, trying to comfort him. For a long time, she said nothing, but eventually she spoke.

[color=fafabe]"Amber, I know...I know that you feel this way, but I know you too well, even if we haven't seen each other in such a long time, I know, [i]I know[/i] you too well to believe that you hadn't done all you could've to prevent this...And...A-And it's n-not your fault, okay? Okay!? None of this could've been your fault. You're so young, Amber, we both are, and there's some things that, no matter how hard we try, just aren't in our power. Aquamarine should've taken better care of you all. Don't blame yourself. She took you into her care not knowing if she could properly protect you all, without admitting that she wasn't capable, and that was her fault, not your own, and though I'm sure she didn't mean this to happen and also did all she could, it was still her fault, not your own,"[/color] Her voice cracked, and her eyes were dangerously close to crying. Not over Howlite -there was shock and there was regret and there was self-loathing because of her, but she hadn't known her well enough to feel this way- but because of Amber's distress over her death, and because she wasn't sure how to help alleviate his pain. She was scared she was making it worse, and to do such a thing would break her heart had she had one.

But she would not cry.

She had to be strong, for Amber's sake. She took in a shaky breath, and spoke once more, hugging him closer.

[color=fafabe]" And I let her do so. I let her take you all away, and I didn't even stay to try and make sure you were all safe. I was selfish. I left. You were there. You were there whereas I wasn't. I'm the one who should've done something."
[/color]

And now there were tears in her eyes. She put her hand which was around Amber's neck into a fist and dug her nails as hard as she could, trying to focus on that pain so that the emotional one wouldn't overpower her.

She would not cry.

She wouldn't let herself.

Her voice had raised higher than she had ever heard it.
[color=fafabe]"I'm so sorry."[/color]

[@Saarebas]
[@Raijinslayer]
[@21308]