[i]"Okay so that wasn't actually the weather."

"Like, I heard about that on some old recording, and apparently some towns in the Old World used to do that? Like, apparently they used to just play music instead of saying what the actual weather was? I know, it sounds crazy. But I've been listening to loads of these old recordings of community radio reports for a while now, and when the guy first said, in his deep, smooth, chocolaty voice,"

*the sound of someone clearing their throat can be heard*

[b]" 'And now; The Weather.' "[/b]

*the word 'weather' is immediately followed by a coughing fit, as Amarillo's kind of shrill, non-gendered voice returns*

"First I was all 'whaaaaaa,' y'know? But after a while it started to grow on me... I guess.... I guess I just figured I'd try it out, y'know? I'd see how it felt to tell all the people I was about to report on the weather and then not do that and just play some choice tunes instead, for whatever reason."

*there is a short pause*

"Listeners, I think if there's anything to be learned today, it's that you should always try new things! Even if they turn out to be god awful. Like, you'll find in life most things are god awful, whether you try them or not. In faaaact some things-- [b]most[/b] things actually, life included, just happen to us, without us even getting to consciously try them! God awful things happening to people is especially prevalent on Dust-- but listen! Instead of [b]just[/b] letting those god awful things happen to you, you can also actively influence the god awful things that happen to you. By taking charge of your existence, by making calls like I did to emulate the over three-hundred year old radio host of a small community radio station in some irrelevant desert town-- I tried something new. You've got to jump into the unknown, damn it!" 

"Because, yes, sure, [b]statistically[/b] speaking that new thing you try will almost certainly be god awful... But..."

*another short pause*

"Did you catch that? I said [b]almost certainly.[/b] Believe me when I say, there will be times where you try something new, and it turns out to be okay!"

"--Or or or!"

"If you're particularly lucky maybe it'll even be better than okay!"

"So jump into the unknown, Dust. Boldly try new things, because it isn't the fact that life is so god awful that keeps us going... that makes all this so damn worthwhile... it's the fact that every now and again, something, somewhere, for someone-- all works out and... and...  and [b]that[/b] is what makes this life we've got so [b]damn[/b] precious."

"You've got to be willing to embrace the unknown to find it, but it's fucking there... you know it is. That little god damn glimmer of hope..."

*another pause, a tiny bit longer than the last two*

"So clearly, for me-- copying that weather thing was god awful-- but that's okay. Now we've all learned a valuable lesson."

*muffled yelling in the background comes from a more feminine voice*

[sub]"Wait shit-- it's that late already?"[/sub]

*more yelling*

[sub]"Alright, alright! Calm down, okay? I got it."[/sub]

*heavy steps leave the room*

[sub]"[i][b]Someone[/b][/i] needs a good dicking..."[/sub]

*A slight sequel comes from the microphone, it sounds as though it's being adjusted*

"Aaaand we're back, listeners! Sorry for that [b]brief[/b] and [b]uncalled for[/b] interruption. You're tuned into WTJR 191-- Tumbleweed's Journal Radio! We can guarantee we're any tumbleweed's favorite radio station. We're also the [i]only[/i] radio station. If you'd like to come murder us all and change that, we're based out of the Okaga radio tower, in year old Russlegrad! I'm your host for this hour, and last hour, and all hours before or after this moment until one of you psychos actually [b]does[/b] come and kill us all."

"Anyway, tumbleweeds, talk-slash-music-slash-news radio is a very tricky business, especially when you really don't have any standards to go by. I mean, except recordings from some guy who thinks that clouds and sandstorms sound like music, which..."

"Huh... You know I didn't actually..."

"Huh..."

"I didn't think of it like that before."

"..."

"Jesus, tumbleweeds, that's a really beautiful way to view the world."

"It's also indicative of a person who's never actually experienced a sandstorm before. Sandstorms, like most things, are god awful. But I don't have to tell y'all that, do I?"

"Damn it-- I'm getting away from the point again. Okay, tumbleweeds, here's the skinny; management says I spent too much time on the talk and music parts of the broadcast, while almost completely neglecting this morning's news cycle. So, I tells them that 'I'll handle it,' and they're like 'How' and I'm just like 'I don't know, man, you're kind of putting me on the spot here, Jesus, I don't know, I guess I'll just give people the bullet points all rapid fire?' and she screams in response, 'Yeah, okay.' "

"Gosh, she's fucking unbearable, right?"

"Alright, let's do this! Rocket round time, here are your abbreviated morning's headlines; An interview with The Professor, apparently they're doing something totally not sinister in that location literally named Tombstone? That's cool I guess, umm, what else do you guys need to know?"

*papers shuffling*

"Oh shit! Is this real? A Talking Cat?!? They have a talking cat in No-Name! This can't be real, listeners, y'all need to go confirm this. Apparently cats in No-Name are starting to speak now-- or is it just the one? Duuude we really need to get someone up there,"

*chuckling*

"Haha, holy shit. That's just wild."

*papers shuffling*

"Oh, this is... I guess this is alright. For those of you out there who know what the word 'BASEBALL' means, this sports highlight might be right up your alley. Today, to commemorate the fall of Motum Diversum, and the beginning of the baseball season, the standing president as well as the last two presidents are going to appear to commemorate the game-- whoah! They got Mark the 9th to come out of retirement for this? I mean, Mark X and Mark XI I can believe, but I figured Mark IX had retired! Wow, every important political figure and business figure, in an already dwarfed faction, completely exposed in a stadium for remembrance of an event that will clearly depress all the important figures there and lower moral? As they're completely exposed, vulnerable and already weak after having been essentially driven from relevance by a basically one large criminal organization, with a power split?"

"Hey, Dust bowlers, I might not be a huge fan of baseball, but it sounds like this is going to be a really interesting game! So head on down to Parkland Stadium if you're in the area, prices are listed as 'If you have to ask, you can't afford it.' "

*there is a short mixture of static and silence*

"Hmm..."

"Hey tumbleweeds, don't tell my boss, but Roro's gonna sneak in a short music break while I organize some of these other reports. We'll be right back!"[/i]

[center][youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6L7DhE7NWU[/youtube][/center]