Sorry for the brief delay on reviews, folks, kinda had my hands full for a minute there. I’m doing these as quality-of-writing reviews first, trying to keep them short and manageable… the plan was to get everything reviewed in one long sitting but after these first three I’m overwhelmed with quality. I feel like if I don’t take a break I’m gonna be unfair to whoever comes next. So here’s [@Impaqt], [@Tyler], and [@Byrd Man]. You guys are blowing me away. Incredible.

[hider=the 100% honest truth]
Raw. Thoughtful. Powerful. This is clearly written from the heart, and if the heart tells you to write in pair-agraphs like that, I can’t really complain about them – they’re a little confusing but that’s actually adding a lot in this case. And while I can’t necessarily call it “FLAWLESS” (you wrote “your’s” instead of “yours,” TECHNICALLY a flaw!) this is definitely a piece that stands tall. Very, very, very, very good, and practically impervious to critique because hey – this is how it happened and this is how it feels and I couldn’t dream of telling you any different, could I? That’s a home run. [/hider]

[hider=lie of the beholder]
Goodness that caught me off guard. Holy [i]crap.[/i] That’s….. that was amazing. The imagery leading up to “94 lbs” on its own line was just flat-out perfect. [i]Because of how good the first half was[/i], the dialogue portion felt a little weaker – and it was always going to feel that way, I guess, because dialogue is naturally less personal than inside-the-head sequences. I can’t think of anything off the top of my head to make it carry the same ‘weight,’ as it were, but if you had to pick something to work on in the future, you could try that I guess. If you could write dialogue that punches as hard as those first paragraphs, you’d go pro in a heartbeat. Again – it’s not a weak spot at all, it just seems weaker because of how well this opened. Fantastic piece.[/hider]

[hider=crude city]
Fan-fucking-tastic. This has everything a good noir should have – all the right turns in all the right places, and a great dismal mood throughout. Pacing and tone were spot-on too. Rarely and I mean [i]rarely[/i], the gritty veneer felt a little bit forced – things like coming up with too many new ways to say liquor, or the nuns who just happened to be walking by. If anything it’s just too much of a good thing, which barely counts as a problem, but it’d feel even MORE perfect if a few of these heavy-handed spots were toned down just a bit – you’re already painting a perfect picture, the lines don’t have to be that bold. Bianca’s explanation/exposition at the end was the only spot that didn’t really sound perfect – she used fancy words like ‘infinite oblivion’ and even though we haven’t really seen her enough to know for sure, that felt a bit out-of-character. I can’t emphasize enough how isolated that is as a problem – you friggin’ [i]nailed[/i] this atmosphere. That was unbelievable. I mean [i]wow.[/i] One of the strongest stories we’ve had. Top goddamn marks.[/hider]