All but the last, biggest review are now done. That mind-blown feeling I was having earlier, about how good this batch is? It hasn't gone anywhere. I don't wanna oversell anything but..... you guys outdid yourselves. Anyway, [@Alice], [@PlatinumSkink], [@Ellri], and anons, you're up!

[hider=the little black lie]
So I like the idea behind the plot, but it’s not executed super-well. I’m not sure if we got too much backstory or not enough – a move in either direction would’ve helped. Like for example, filling this out to a 50-page story, where every little sub-section is full of character growth and plot advancement – duh, that would be stronger, [i]but[/i] so would wiping out [b]all[/b] of those parts and making it a story, about this long, that takes place entirely in the conversation between Harry and his folks. The simpler way of saying all that is, the pacing is off. It takes many many paragraphs for any writer to build a solid plot around spies and political killings and cover-ups – you sorta have to choose between writing all those paragraphs, or focusing on a smaller aspect of the story. Make sense? I wind up saying this a lot, but there’s a simple rule of thumb – section breaks are a [i]fairly[/i] good sign that your pacing is gonna wind up wrong. “Wrong” is a bad word. It winds up….. choppy? Sometimes choppy is okay. Anyway. The lie itself was very intriguing and it was a great situation for fiction. [/hider]

[hider=the mirror boy]
Loved it. I [i]think[/i] – correct me if I’m wrong – but I suspect the long line of rooms just like hers means she’s in a ward. Which is sorta heartbreaking after getting to know her, but hey… she’s kinda messed up. Pacing and style were spot on… [i]Maybe[/i] an argument could be made for bringing up the car crash sooner, but not a compelling one. A couple of sentences read a teensie bit funny and it actually sorta worked in your favor – “Never could she feel” is a storybook-ish way of saying that, but that just adds to the mystique. Mystere? Whatever. It totally works. Absolutely solid all-around. I particularly like the simple “Nod.” paragraphs – that’s style right there. Great job.[/hider]

[hider=dramatic reveal]
Jeez, you got me. Got me good. That [i]might[/i] be the best lie so far….. I mean I’ll have to weigh it, but that was really well done. 

THAT SAID! The story was great but the style wasn’t stellar – aspects were [i]beyond[/i] great, I mean legitimately I thought I was reading a new Final Fantasy pitch for a while there. The world was great. The characters were (I think) exactly and concisely what you wanted them to be. My two gripes – and they’re sadly big – are Exposition and Repetition. Exposition makes sense – you had a whole lot of setup required by this particular lie, a certain amount was inevitable, and I wouldn’t begrudge a little bit of exposition to get to the point that much quicker. It was [i]laced[/i] throughout the entire story though – we’d stop talking about the conversation for a minute to instead explain how all the party members came to join. And notably too – though this might’ve just been a brainfart by me – I had no idea magic was involved until you brought up the gods of magic. So like…. Given that lots of exposition was always going to be required, it seems like that should’ve been a bigger deal sooner. Repetition is a more obvious and thus simpler problem – things like “In its place, this took place” or saying ‘barrier’ four times in three sentences – easy to fix, just change up the language. 

I’m being picky partly because it’s theoretically good for you in the long run, and partly because of how much I liked the story. You got my mind going a thousand miles an hour in one direction and then faked me out completely on the lie. Extremely impressed. Damn good job.[/hider]

[hider=new existence]
It’s dark and revolting and captivating…. Less a story, more just a portrait of something horrifying. And I seriously love it for that. This is way shorter than what you usually submit and [i]in a way[/i] I almost think it works better because of that – though your longer pieces always have an appropriate plot driving things along, this came across…. Idunno. Simpler, or purer, or something like that, but it’s just a fantastic little showcase of descriptive talent with nothing at all to distract me from the strongest points. “Beautiful” is a bad word but….. yeah. Kinda still beautiful. And in any case, great as ever. [/hider]

[hider=reality checkmate]
Totally the best poem here – I dunno who that other joker was, Sonnet O, what is that? Talking poetry for me means talking form first – this was a simple form, aabb rhyme and a lively meter, and that form [i]made[/i] this poem. Other people reading the review – THIS is why poetry is still around. The predictable rhythm keeps you super-engaged so that every line means that much more. My cautionary advice is, look, changing up the pattern is [i]totally cool[/i], do it whenever you want, but go too far and the spell is broken. “Don’t dwell on events passed” jolted me right out of the flow because I just can’t read it in time. “But alas, I digress” sorta did too, but read aloud, it would’ve fit perfectly, so I’m honestly not whining there.  The form was, overall, [i]spectacular.[/i]

After form comes content. I’m not 100% sold on the content – which doesn’t prevent me from loving the poem, because the form was just that good. The speaker drifts back and forth on what’s a lie and what’s not, and it’s….. I mean, THOROUGHLY memorable because of how well you ended, but just generally less focused than I usually like. Normally ‘the point’ is more overt….. doesn’t have to be, but usually is. It’s almost purely preference I guess – I don’t LIKE getting to the end of the poem and wondering what the message meant, but I’m just the reader, I have no say in that. You keep doing it your way, because you’re on the money here.[/hider]