That's some good wordsmithing rightcha. I liked the metaphor about reaching into your wallet being like picking at a carcass, that was pretty creative.

The various levels of freakout across everyone is certainly normal, at least from my perspective. I'm pretty unflappable myself, I've kept up a strong front while being mugged once and detained once, [i]I'm[/i] freaking out because I think I'm either dead or I've snapped. Personally, losing my sanity is a pretty damn big fear of mine. I'm not 100% here, I get intrusive thoughts and minor hallucinations sometimes, but I can tell the difference between a hallucination and a real event so it doesn't affect my behavior too much. Going all the way down the fucking rabbit hole terrifies me. Normally, and I've kind of already started doing it here, I'd be focusing on forming a plan, weighing my options, gathering resources, and putting together information while I compartmentalize everything and freak the fuck out later when I have control of the situation.

I'm going to wait my turn until y'all's conversation is over, going to still be hiding by the door just in case. You'll see me later, but I'll probably be pretty illusive until I'm positive that you guys are in the same situation as I am. Until then, I'd act natural and try to fake like I belong there. Not playing the part of a moe girl, but at least like I'm a student while I try to figure out what the fuck is going on.