Right now is one of those moments when you really really need someone to just rant to and cry and have there for comfort and all that, but I don't have frickin' anyone because no one actually gives a shit, and the best I have is a girl that's just as socially awkward and clueless as me, who is just as socially inhibited as me, so the best we do is talk on Skype or some shit.

I normally just keep all the shit that happens to me wrapped up tight in a little ball in a safe locked away in the deepest parts of my consciousness, but today has been the shittiest day for a while and so it's all crashing back onto me and I really just want to slam my door shut and lock it, and barricade it, and refuse to come out until I feel better, which I know will never happen because I've had this shit for years, and I know that my asshole parents would just make it worse and I'm all breaking down again for like the fourth time and I really think I'm going to snap here pretty quick, maybe this next minute, hour, day, week, I don't know but I'm feeling really goddamn weak right now.