[@Akayaofthemoon] Wow, that's a really painful, complicated situation.  It really doesn't sound like you or your husband are in the wrong at all, and the problem sounds entirely like an issue with communication.  I really hope it all cools down and you get a chance to talk to her, it sounds like that would mostly fix it.  I'm really sorry your grandmother said such awful stuff to you though, I know it isn't my place to say this but it really sounds like she should apologize.