[quote=@The Mad Hatter] I'm a mothering person by nature. I mother everyone. That's probably why I attract lazy assholes; 'cause they see someone who will take care of them or whatever. At least that's what my counselor (who is not a real shrink, but has been more helpful than the real one eve was) thinks. The worst part was the lack of sex. I went almost two years without sex. It was awful. I make jokes about terrible things to make them seem less serious and it's honestly a really bad habit that I use to try and hide the way I feel. Things really aren't much better. I just... Every time he creates a mess for me, I just clean it right up without complaining. He knows that I'm on the brink of insanity here and he knows how hard it is for me to let him into my life again, and yet he keeps making more and more demands. Last time he was here to visit our daughter, he demanded that he get her for Christmas and that if I refused, he'd sue me for full custody. He's never going to get full custody, but the threat is enough to really mess with me head. I'm not going to just deliver her over to a person she doesn't even trust, though, so I'll jut have to endure the courts and all that if he actually goes through with it. But I guess I'm coping all right. I'm not crying as much as I used to and when I do, I'm not hiding away to do it. I don't feel like hurting myself in any way (or hurting my daughter, which was the case during my birthing depression; it was so awful to have thoughts like that). I'm more or less forcing myself to eating and sleeping right, even though I don't really feel like it. I sort of feel like I'm whining, though, 'cause my situation really isn't all that bad as what some are going through... How are [i]you[/i] doing? Are [i]you[/i] coping all right? And if you don't mind me asking; How old are you? [/quote] I feel like I need mothering alot, so I'm worried I am/will turn into one of those lazy arseholes. I'm alot more dependant on other people then I'd like, which I guess is why I'm taking this break-up so badly. That sounds awful :/ I can't imagine what that'd be like o.O hopefully I find a meaningful relationship in the near-future, and not two years time. I do the joke thing alot too. I sort of use it as a cry for help, but I feel like people just tend to go 'haha funny joke' and assume that everything's okay, without thinking about the deeper implications, which I suppose is my fault for not outright admitting that I'm not okay. Although when I do ask for help, it dosen't seem to work. I text my ex telling her that I might have broken my neck and her response was 'Good. Now you can't be with other girls', and its things like that which have made me abit paranoid and reluctant to ask for help. I'm really sorry to hear that :( Hopefully one day enough will be enough, and you won't feel like you need to clean up after him anymore. Acknowledging the problem is the first step, and it seems like we're both able to do this. You've acknowledged that your daughter's father is a bad prescence in both of your lives, and I've ackonwledged that my ex is a bad prescence in my life. I guess we both need to figure out how to stick to our guns and try and cut them out. Anyone who treats you this badly, and dose things like steal your life savings, dosen't deserve to be allowed access to your daughter, and to potentialy have an influence on her. I'm glad that your thoughts of self-harm have passed, that's a whole new can of worms which can really just make everything seem so much more awful. I get thoughts about hurting people close to me too sometimes (alot more than I'd like) but they're just thoughts at the end of the day, and no matter how much they make us hate ourselves I think everyone gets them. You're not whining at all! saying that we can't be sad because other people have it worse is like saying we can't be happy because other people have it better. Everyone has their own struggles, and that dosen't make what we're going trough any less serious or important. I'm not doing as well as I'd like, without being too melodramatic. I want to start a new page, and not just find someone else to love but also find ways to take care of myself, and become more self-sefficent. I'm still in Hospital right now, but I should be starting cognitive behavioural therapy soon, which I'm hoping will help. How about you? Are you coping? Oh, I'm 17, 18 in December. D'you mind if I ask how old you are?