[quote=@The Mad Hatter] You can be lazy without being an asshole, though. Some people just are. My new boyfriend is sort of lazy, too, but he does the things I ask him to do to help around the house without (much) complaint. I don't really mind doing most of the work, since I really am very mothering by nature and always have been. Whenever he wants to be nice and cook dinner, I just sort of swoop in a take over without really meaning to ("Let me do that for you, it's much faster if I do it" or "Here, I'll do that. I'm better at it and it really needs to be done right"). I feel like those two years by myself (and after a couple of months, my daughter) really did something for me in the terms of understanding my [i]own[/i] needs and not being so dependent on others as I used to be. I've always been terrified of hurting others and put everyone else and their needs ahead of my own (part of being motherly, I guess). When I was just me, there was no one for me to mother, so I was a bit more about what [i]I[/i] wanted to do. I think I really needed that. Maybe you should just take some time to yourself, as well, and not worry so much about finding that next big love, but more on who [i]you[/i] are. You're still young and have plenty of time to find that special someone and sure, you gotta pull the weeds to really see the flowers, but you need to know what you really want before you can find it. I found that whenever I had I bad thought and felt like I wanted to hurt myself, I just thought of all the goods things I have in my life and sometimes it helped a bit. I thought about my family and how awesome they are and how much they'd miss me if I offed myself and all the things I'd miss out on in my future; such as finding that "true love", getting married, having (more) kids - 'cause I wanna have a billion of them - and living that whole happily ever after that my parents have finally reached after 30 years of uphill. I mean, if they can do it, so can I, right? Maybe you can do something of the same? Just think of a future that isn't glum and filled with abandonment and betrayal? I'm 23, so I'm still at that stage in my life where I'm transitioning from teenager to adulthood. It's the perfect time for drama and intrique :lol [/quote] I feel like I'm either extremely lazy or extremely active, and there isn't really a middle-ground for me. Aha, I can quite easily see myself being that person, who sort of tries to help out but ends up being rather inefficient, and just lets the better-equipped people take charge. I can understand that completely. I feel like I ethier put my needs above everyone elses or visa versa, and I've never quite found the balance. I think finding the balance is a big problem for me, and its something I still struggle with alot. I try thinking about my family whenever I have suicidal urges, but sometimes I guess there's just too much darkness in my head to stop me from thinking straight. I get that I shouldn't make my entire life about falling in love. I guess that's something I need to work on too. I used to think I just wanted some casual fun, but now that I don't have someone to chat to every night, I just want a dooey-eyed relationship back. I feel like I'm quite indecisive :P But yeah, I should probbably take some time off to look after myself, so I guess sitting in hospital for a few days is kind've a blessing. I think I've grown to used to casting my mind back into the past, so looking forwards to the future for abit will be a nice change of pace. Heh I guess I've got THAT to look forwards to then! :P ;)