Note: I am a libertarian (mostly). This is posted for fun, and nothing more and I am not looking to start a fight over beliefs or what not.


So, I was going to rank the GOP debate in DnD terms. But, I decided that I know far more about The Elder Scrolls Skyrim, than I do about DnD, and I don't want to be a complete rip.

So I am going to do so by Skryim.

First off, the Moderators: Alduin, Alduin's cousin twice removed. And Alduin's drunk uncle.

Ted Cruz: The Dragonborn. Shouts in Skyrim are "deadly verbal debates" that "personify a dragon's voice into a physical force". Ted Cruz not only made the Moderators look stupid, but he made them look super stupid. He remembered each of there questions to the other candidates and in the order they were asked without writing anything down. He slapped em like the three stooges.

John Kasich: He is that clown from the Dark Brotherhood that always attacks you but is way too whimpy to actually beat you. He really had nothing to say except "I am here to be here", just like the Dark Brotherhood's note you find on him.

Chris Christie: Meh. he is basically The Throat of the World mountain that has the ability to talk. But aside from very few good comments, everything he said is as empty as the wind that blows passed you when you actually climb the throat of the world.

Carly Fiorina: I mean, she is smart. She isn't really a politician. I think of her like the Blacksmith in Whiterun. She is useful, and she says some nice things and sells you some good items. But she really isn't anyone you want for Jarl of Whiterun.

Rand Paul: I love the guy, but his performance was stale, stale, stale. I think of him as the former King of Solitude. He was great and interesting, but like the character in the game, he had nothing to say, and is essentially dead. I hope he has something to say more in the next debates.

Jeb Bush: Jeb Bush is Jeb Bush. I think he is pretty much Maiq the Liar. He will tell you truth and lies and doesn't want you to know which is which. And once you ask a couple questions he just tells you "I am tired now, go bother someone else."

Ben Carson: Esbern. He is Esbern. He is really smart, knows what he is talking about, and wants whats best for us. He wants to stop the dragons, and I am happy for that. He has great leadership qualities, and I think he could really be a benefit.

Marco Rubio: Hes great. I really hate a few of his policies and ideas, but he is great. I liken him to any of the followers you can have as the Dragonborn. Hey help when they can, but because of some of his ideas, he can hinder you a bit and get in the way of your attacks on the enemies. Probably set off the traps around you and get you hurt too.

Mike Huckabee: Himsker, or whatever. The babbling idiot in Whiterun that shouts about Talos. Its nice that he shouts about Talos, but he doesn't sound very good and I just hate him.

Donald Trump: Hm... This is a hard one.His hair reminds me of the Giants in the game. But his face reminds me of a hagraven. He wants to "fix" things like General Tullius, but he sounds more like Ulfric Stormcloak.-

I'm going to say he is a falmer. He is good at what he did, but he is bad and blinded by what he thinks now. He is super aggressive, but no in the smart Ted Cruz like way. Its like he smells you or hears you and attacks you, but when you beat him up a few times, he just runs away all wobbly and curses you from the distance.