[quote=@Prince of Seraphs]
<Snipped quote by Prince of Seraphs>

<Snipped quote by Write>

[@Lugubrious] Reminder.
[/quote]

I did Write's because his was short and he was persistent, but rest assured I'll finish rereading and critique yours as well.  The first thing to note, as I alluded to in the contest, is that you almost always use 'there' instead of 'their'.