[quote=@Romero]
I didn't really think it was too advanced or wall-of-text like. It's the style I'm used to, and I've run a similar roleplay successfully on another site, but maybe it's just a totally different group on here. 
[/quote]

Exactly, its what you're used to but most people on RPGuild are used to either hard stats numbers or freeform. One way to reduce to imposing look would be to format it to make it stand out more and look prettier, keep things organized and interesting. Everyone's point of view is different, a style someone is used to doesn't mean it'll work for others, I know from personal experience.

Also, just because it works on site doesn't mean it'll work here. Try preaching evolution to Christian fundamentalists, just because it works in one place to one group doesn't mean it'll work else where with others.