[@Eklispe] So after deliberation between Turbo and myself, we're in agreement that your bio is still not meeting our standards. Overall, we just find it to be underwhelming and incohesive. It's basically our analysis that the rough concept you hd initially has been basically lost through your revisions.

This is our suggestion: come up with a fresh concept with your current understanding of our intentions and etandards. What I find to be the primary flaw is that you seem to write backstories as flimsy justifications for the abilities of you character. Try it the other way around; write a full backstory before you even touch your character's equipment or abilities.