Hello my Darling Incels, Shyguys, and Forever Alones, this is a thread where we critique the dating advice that is commonly given to us.

Ive been working as a Speed dating event host, and a matchmaker for a year and a half now, and the AMOUNT of trash dating advice ive had to argue against and filter is astounding, when I look around me, I see a lot of perfectly good men and women who are single, lonely and looking and I blame the crap that the Rom-Com movie and Fanfic generation has been telling them, so lets do some [color=ed1c24][b]MYTHBUSTING[/b][/color]


1. [u][b]HEY GUYS,  JUST BE CONFIDENT, GIRLS ARE ATTRACTED TO TEH CONFIDENCE**** HERP DERP[/b][/u]
[img]http://i.imgur.com/HQh54AC.gif[/img]
The confidence really does need more asterixs, I summed it up nicely in another thread.

[b][i]This whole "women are attracted to confidence" bullshit is getting old, very old. When women say they are attracted to confidence, do you know what they are really saying?
"We are attracted to good looking, tall men who have the confidence to approach us after we have given them the green light to do so". Telling an ugly guy to just be "confident" is like putting lipstick on a pig.[/i][/b]


And plus 'JUST BE CONFIDENT' is bad advice in itself, if you arent naturally confident then forcing it is going to make you come across awkward, obnoxious and a massive doucenozzle, you will scare off everyone around you and attract counter-douchery for your false act. You need to start by [color=f49ac2][b]LIKING YOURSELF MORE[/b][/color] and becoming more 
[b][color=f49ac2]COMFORTABLE[/color][/b] about things about you, and confidence will [b][color=f49ac2]SLOWLY AND STEADILY[/color][/b] come with it, but don't think for a second that even that will [i]MAGICALLY GET YOU A DATE[/i], oh no Incel, you got more work to do.

The confidence is attractive thing really is a misunderstanding. People who you already have the potential to be attracted to stand out more when they are confident, when you are confident you are being given screen time, and you are getting more chance to showcase your pretty feathers, but only if you have pretty feathers!! Its a revelation, not a transformation trick. If you are already funny, she will notice it more, if you are already hot, he will notice it more, if you are already interesting they will notice it more with CONFIDENCE but that's all it really does.  

Also, the idea that girls like confidence can also be attributed to the fact that confidence usually entails making the first move.......because we all know..

2. [b][u] HEY GURLS IF YEW APPROACH THE DUDE FIRST THEN IT SEEMS DESPERATE, IF HE LIKEZ YOU HE WILL COME TO YOUUU DERP[/u][/b]
[img]http://y-magazine.com/magazine/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/tumblr_inline_nhgg5mO1Mv1rkbzyh.gif[/img]
NO, not nessecarily, he might think you are super beautiful and the second coming of hideyoshi (haha) but he's not going to approach you if he's SHIT SCARED OF TALKING TO YOU or SHIT SCARED OF BEING REJECTED, or I dont know, DOESNT WANT TO APPROACH SOMEONE RANDOMLY CAUSE HE THINKS HE WILL SEEM LIKE A PEST, there are plenty of reasons a guy wont approach you and none of them mean he doesn't genuinely like you, but its just such a massive risk to put yourself out there and try and be 'laid back, but still enthusiastic' at the same time. Its like the world tells men: [i]Hey guys don't act like you are all eager to talk to her, be chill about it.....but you still have to say the first thing, be interesting, without being odd, be funny without being too dorky, dont talk too fast, dont talk too slow etc etc[/i].

Girls there is absolutely nothing wrong with going up to a guy you like, its not DESPERATE, it totally depends on what you say, if youre like:


[hider=Can I Haz Permission to lick teh handsome face desu?]
[color=fff200]OMG I TOTALLY WANT TO LICK YOUR FACE HUSBANDO[/color]
[img]http://notsopersonalblog.weebly.com/uploads/1/9/1/0/19105387/460372434.png[/img]
[/hider]

then yes that's desperate, terrifying even [s]But that doesn't stop you at One Direction concerts does it...[/s]
But if you go up to a totally hot guy and are like:
[hider=Imagine shes standing up...]
[b]Hey I'm trying to pick out a new coat to go with this hat in this magazine, in your opinion which looks the least hipsterish? :P[/b]
[img]https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/8c/d9/e9/8cd9e9bf653196cb4430e25aa8bdc2bc.jpg[/img]
[/hider]
Then no one is going to think you are a desperate or loose, or easy, you are just being social, its not a 'sign'.

3. [b][u]OH MY GODZ DYNAMU, DONT BE GENORILIZING, ITS NOT ALL ABOUT LOOKS ITS ABOUT TEH PERSONALITY, AND LOOKZ ARE TEH SUBJECTIVES!1!![/u][/b]

[hider=Beauty On the Inside]
[img]http://www.quickmeme.com/img/9c/9c6ad74ff8f9d5a546c51bdd27d60c7ad2b35f5e2739e9d197446f19591b5b71.jpg[/img]
[/hider]

This is one of the most twisted half truths I've ever heard....

Are looks subjective? yes
Does Personality matter? yes

But does that mean that giving advice based on this  isolated fact in a world where there are obvious patterns and trends in the way we perceive beauty a good Idea?  [b][color=ed1c24]HELL NO[/color][/b]

Yes everyone likes different things, some women like men who stink. does that mean we tell men to stop showering JUST IN CASE, no.
You have to generalise to be practical, and its ridiculous to fool ourselves thinking everything is this perfect swirling  blossom of different opinions and tastes.....THERE ARE SOME HARD TRUTHS


[i][b]Most [/b][/i] women are going to prefer a guy taller than them
[b][i]Most[/i][/b] women are going to prefer a guy somewhere close to their age usually not younger though
[b][i]Most [/i][/b] women like men who dont shit thier pants during the 3rd date and then try and clean it up with the tablecloth...

do you get the point? We have to generlise for somethings to give good advice!

And this[b] everyone is attractive to someone[/b] thing as well, [i]THANK YOU FOR THAT TECHNICAL POSSIBILITY[/i]

Yes its [i]technically possible[/i], that there are women out there who find this man absolutely irresistable
[img]http://media.gamerevolution.com/images/misc/Fat-Guy-At-Computer.jpg[/img]

but I have a strange intuition that maybe this guy is going to rank slightly higher on general scale

[img]http://images.kdramastars.com/data/images/full/36962/chace-crawford-jpg.jpg?w=600[/img]

[b]LETS JUST BE MORE HONEST AND PRACTICAL WITH GENERALIZATIONS PEOPLE!!!![/b]


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So I will be adding more as we go on, but I want to here from YOU whats some Good or Bad dating advice you would like me to comment on. Or if you have any questions or comments [s]Then you know exactly where to stick them[/s] I would love to hear x