[quote=@IrishAngelQueen] Finished! [hider=Avery castle/Hephaestus] [h1][color=orangered]Avery Castle[/color][/h1][center] [img]http://www.zastavki.com/pictures/originals/2013/Girls___Beautyful_Girls_In_a_leather_jacket_041227_.jpg[/img] [color=f7941d][i]"Gonna go and get me a shot Gonna knock it back forget all my blues Yeah that really hits the spot I'm feeling pretty fierce in my dancin' shoes."[/i][/color] -[b]Shady, Adam Lambert[/b][/center][hr][hr][center][color=gold][h1][u]Personal Information[/u][/h1][/color][/center] [color=orangered][u]Name:[/u][/color] [color=f7941d]Avery Esme Castle [/color] [color=orangered][u]Nickname:[/u][/color] [color=f7941d]Aves, Castle[/color] [color=orangered][u]Birth Date:[/u][/color] [color=f7941d]Nov. 28[/color] [color=orangered][u]Age:[/u][/color] [color=f7941d]19[/color] [color=orangered][u]Gender:[/u][/color] [color=f7941d]Female[/color] [color=orangered][u]Sexuality:[/u][/color] [color=f7941d]Bisexual[/color][hr][center][color=gold][h1][u]In The Mirror[/u][/h1][/color][/center] [color=orangered][u]In Depth Appearance:[/u][/color] [color=f7941d]Avery is slim, curvy, five-foot, and four and a half. Her body is lithe from all the dancing she likes to do-a healthy meal of ballroom, with a side or contemporary and jazz, hold the ballet. Her creamy skin and the dark auburn-brown hair inheirited from her irish mother, set off her amber eyes, which glow in the dark sometimes. Her skin is unmarked, except for the [url=http://tse3.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.M54cac6b40c2649c33df6a7b83e134069H0&pid=15.1]tattoo[/url] that winds across her left shoulder. [/color] [color=orangered][u]Clothing Style:[/u][/color] [color=f7941d]Avery likes to wear regular t-shirts, and sometimes halter tops for when it's hot. She mainly wears jeans and lightweight combat boots for regular use, and you'll never see her without her leather jacket. Her type of style is mostly whatever's comfortable, band shirts, and she really likes the steampunk styles.[/color][hr][center][color=gold][h1][u]Delving Deeper[/u][/h1][/color][/center] [color=orangered][u]Likes:[/u][/color] [color=f7941d][list][*]Dancing: Cha-cha and tango, to be precise. [*]Playing with fire. [*]Panic! At The Disco-A band. [*]Building things. [*]Pranks.[/list][/color] [color=orangered][u]Dislikes:[/u][/color] [color=f7941d][list][*]Spiders. [*]Anything pink, except for flowers. [*]Snotty girls with high pitched voices. [*]Don't call her Aves, she'll kill you. [*]Being sassed by thirteen year-olds. [*]Crying and what it entails.[/list][/color] [color=orangered][u]Fears:[/u][/color] [color=f7941d][list][*]Losing control of her powers and dying and/or killing her loved ones. [*]Being suffocated, i.e, drowning. [*]Has a fear of being grabbed her ankle and dragged down someplace dark and horrifying.[/list][/color] [color=orangered][u]Habits:[/u][/color] [color=f7941d][list][*]Humming lyrics while she works. [*]Occasionally uses dance footwork to worm her way through crowded spaces. [*]Draws on her hands and arms.[/list][/color] [color=orangered][u]Personality:[/u][/color] [color=f7941d][center][u]♦ Fierce ♦ Playful ♦ Creative ♦ Protective[/u][/center] Avery can be fierce and sometimes scary, a trick inherited from her mother, but is usually playful and relaxed. Although some people see her as never taking anything serious, she actually is just trying to laugh because she prefers it to crying. She is creative with how she pulls her pranks, as well as new improvements made to weapons and other items, and is very protective of herself and others when threatened, verbally or physically. She usually has many friends, but only a few are close to her, because she has had issues trusting people in the past.[/color] [color=orangered][u]Background:[/u][/color] [color=f7941d]Avery lived in Englewood, New Jersey until she was ten years old, when she moved to New York because her mother wanted a change of scenery (or at least, that's what she said), and had a job offer to be a tattooist. She helped her mother with tattoo ideas, and was allowed to go to her workplace after school. Her mom's boss saw no harm in letting her learn how to be a tattooist, and when she turned sixteen she was allowed to work there.[/color] [color=orangered][u]Extra:[/u][/color] [color=f7941d]She has a two year old Doberman named [url=http://www.dogforums.com/attachments/general-dog-forum/150570-why-tails-docked-australian-bayla-female-dobermann.jpg]Bellezza[/url] that she raised from seven weeks old by hand. hephaestus helped her create a [url=http://www.wallpaper4me.com/images/wallpapers/alien_vs_predator_hyabusa_w1.jpeg]motorcycle[/url] that can fly through the air. [u]Her Theme[/u] [youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOgpdp3lP8M[/youtube][/color][hr][center][color=gold][h1] [u]Godly Information[/u][/h1][/color][/center] [color=orangered][u]Godly Parent:[/u][/color] [color=f7941d]Hephaestus[/color] [color=orangered][u]Relationship With Godly Parent:[/u][/color] [color=f7941d]Mutual interest in motorcycles, and mutual respect for one another.[/color] [color=orangered][u]Godly Abilities:[/u][/color] [color=f7941d]-Can fix any broken vehicle (chariots, cars, motorcycles, etc.). -Manipulate fire. -Impervious to high temperatures (high summer doesn't affect her like most people). -Fire Eyes; the ability to make her eyes glow like flames to see in the dark.[/color] [/hider] [/quote] Not bad overall, but a couple of things: -More detail on the following sections: [list][*]Personality [list][*]If you could, explain some more about how she is with each trait. Or at least extend it to 1-2 more paragraphs.[/list] [*]Bio [list][*]Same for powers here, but just explain her life out a bit more. The bio section needs to be two paragraphs, anyways.[/list] [*]Godly powers [list][*]For the powers, I want it to have some explanation of what she can or can't do. Like, how much fire can she manipulate? How much control does she have over it? Can she create fire or can she only manipulate already existing fire? What can she manipulate it in to? Like, can she form blasts, constructs and the like? If so, how large/small are they and how long can they stay active until time takes its toll? [*]For the high temperatures ability, I need a range of how hot is too hot for her. I get that she's Hephaestus' daughter, but there must be a temperature where it's just too hot for her. Even if nothing, I need some kind of explanation there. [*]As for the fire eyes, how far in the dark can she see? Is there a limit of how far ahead of her she can see? Also, can she make out things that are naturally invisible in the dark, such as a chameleon or those with the power of invisibility? Also, I need a decent explanation of how she turns it on/off.[/list] [/list] Fix what I mentioned and she's accepted.