[quote=@liferusher]
I havent faced my problem straight on for about 4 years and just think that it will eventually come but it doesnt i keep repeating what I do every day and don't see any change happening in the comming 4 years either. I told my mom but she just seemed to straight out ignore me about it right now. It makes me feel so bad and hate myself even more for what I am. I want change but the only way for me does seem to dissapear from the life I have now. Sorry for doing spamming this into a rp.
[/quote]

I know what you mean, you tried being strong for too long. Yet really it might be for everyones sake but once in a while you should just say screw eveyone else and just do whatever you want to do to even slightly make yourself happy. Although living your life the same day in and out wont help much, you have to alter it a bit even if that constant schedule helps you out. It it isn't help YOU out, then its not a good way to keep going. I'm not sure what you are going through, so really all I can suggest is for you too keep those friends you really enjoy close. They can really make a difference even if you don't see it.