[quote=@Lunarlors34] [@Zarkun] Better? I changed the magic to make it most effective against Slayers (course it will still pack a punch against normal people, but so does all magic when used well) which was the main aim anyway. I wanter her as an 'anti-slayer' so to speak. I might change the name if I get a decent suggestion XD I edited the others slightly as well but unsure how to change Sophie in anyway. Her magic is full of openings and weaknesses. Also I made Shiro to pretty much be anti-Cody XD A mage like Shiro is Cody's worst nightmare to verse, teleportation is quite effective against him. Or speed. But in all seriousness I can't seem to make Sophie's magic any weaker XD Point out what the problem is there. [/quote] OK, so back to the first one, the big issue is we're still not accepting Slayers. Unless something was said while I was unconscious in bed. Second one, in her back story it now reads 'Act of Guild' XD Just thought you'd like to know. Third one, I think rather than including a photographic memory in his magic, why not just give it to him? Also, still not sure I like his Byakugan style see all magic vision. Fourth one, well, I'm not sure a black hole is a good idea for innocents, or even personal, survival. Their range of suction is incredibly wide, even for a small one and there simply isn't anyway to truly "control" a black hole once it's let go. I mean, I like the magic, but the Black Orb is dangerous beyond reason, even for a dark mage. Fifth one is good, though perhaps instead of Ghost magic, which people are going to go, "He can summon ghosts?" call it phase magic or something. Just a suggestion though, to avoid confusion with others. Sophie is good as well, though I feel like you're shorting yourself with her just a little. Anyways, new critique done. I hope you're enjoying the dance.