So far I like it, especially how you justified it. Just two things I noticed right off hand.

#1 [quote=@Ruby][b]Rank/Position:[/b] Captain/Commander of the USS Orion.[/quote]
The rank is Commander and the position is Captain. Not the other way around. (And that's just me being a little nitpicky.)

#2 [quote=@Ruby]The Vulcan woman would leave Artos with the newborn child, and disappear just as quickly as she'd come.[/quote]

I've read this sentence a few times. And no matter that I know what it's supposed to say, I keep reading it as the Vulcan woman takes the newborn with her. But that's just me. 

I look forward to your finished CS.