While Jan and Stein fought, Sophia relinquished effective command for a few moments to her aide, before quietly leaving the command room and going to the NC pilots quarters. She stopped at the entrance to Elizabeth's and knocked.

[color=662d91]"I got it!"[/color] came a happy voice from the other end, but when the door opened up it was Eli standing before Sophia. The girl instantly shot up to attention, saluting the Captain.

Behind her, Vera peered from the bed, evidentally told to stay.

[color=6ecff6]"Captain, I apologize for my absence at this morning's briefing. I was late, and by the time I arrived, it had concluded."[/color] she said.

[color=8882be]"In all honesty, it's fine. Not your mission, not your problem."[/color], Sophia nonchalantly commented, giving a half-hearted, sarcastic salute back to Eli.

[color=8882be]"I'd prefer if we talked in private, Elizabeth. It's not particularly important, but I would like to discuss something not necessarilly objective related with you."[/color]

Eli nodded without hesitation and started out of the room. She turned to Vera, but the smaller girl was already smiling and waving goodbye. 

[color=662d91]"Have fun Lizzy! Bye Cap'n Sophie!"[/color] 

With the door shut, Eli deferred to Sophia to lead the way. Sophia lead her to the Captain's quarters on the other side of the facility. It was quite similar to Eli's own, except just a bit larger and it having a nice, well-made table in the middle. It seemed to be made out of authentic wood, even. Everything else was relatively fancy, considering that this was a militaristic facility.

Sophia sat at the table after closing the door behind the two, and rest her head on her hand.

[color=8882be]"Elizabeth... How do people like us even exist?"[/color]. She seemed authentically sorrowful, even saying this.

It was not the topic of conversation Eli had expected, even if she wasn't entirely sure what it was she [i]did[/i] expect. She remained standing and at attention, but the Captain's demeanor, even her tone, leant a bit of a hunch to Eli's form. 

[color=6ecff6]"Captain? I'm afraid I don't understand."[/color]

[color=8882be]"How could everything have turned into this? Every time I look outside, I see remnants of things that aren't supposed to be possible. The world wasn't always like this, was it? Where people like myself have to exist? And help in making people like [i]you[/i] exist? Why? What sort of sins did we commit, or are we being punished instead of the people who committed those sins?"[/color]

Sophia had a thousand-yard-stare begin to form.[color=8882be]"I don't remember ever doing something so horrible that this is the only punishment... How can we be so sure that reality is supposed to be so... disgustingly horrible? Did God... did He give up? Is that why I exist? Is that why you exist?"[/color]

Eli didn't know what to say, the worry that was merely a hint now took hold of her eyes and she looked at the Captain as though she'd been wounded. For a few moments she was silent, thinking, but it didn't take long for her to realize that this was not a skill she'd learned. Contemplating her purpose, why she was who she was, why the world was as it was, in a manner of speaking they were above her mental paygrade. Give her a target to slice apart, give her an obstacle to blow to smithereens, but philosophy...her mother might have even laughed.

At last she replied, her voice unsure. [color=6ecff6]"Things...change. The world changes. With or without the aid of a...higher power...nothing is stable. If the world really was as good as the stories say it once was, then eventually it was destined to collapse. It could be that people like...us, are here to prevent it from changing for the worse, again,[/color] she said, and a moment later tacked on: [color=6ecff6]"Captain."[/color]

[color=8882be]"Yeah, I suppose you're right about the world changing. But why do other people have to pay for sins they didn't commit? Why do you... why does your team have to pay for our town's failure? Why did I have to pay for my father's failure? Why do people like you have to pay for the failures of people like me? Why don't people just carry the weight they make? I can't believe the world is so diseased like that."[/color]

[color=8882be]"Did humanity have its chance and blew it? Is that why this world is so hellish? Is this even 'Earth', or is this just the afterlife? I find it hard to believe that things can even work like this. It seems so surreal, does it not?"[/color]

[color=6ecff6]"It...I..."[/color] Eli could no longer find the words. The things Sophia was saying were troubling on multiple levels past the horrorific context of their meaning. She'd never thought of her superiors as 'people' per say, with pasts outside of their professions, just as she'd never expect anyone to think of her as anything but an NC pilot. It was shaking in every sense.

[color=6ecff6]"Captain...do you re...do you need psychological counseling?"[/color] she asked.

[color=8882be]"I know this sounds dark, but... I think I need a bullet. Is that evil? The desire to 'leave' this, in that way?[/color]

A sudden, intense fear overtook Eli, and as if a switch had been flipped she felt as though she understood. Out of pure instinct she checked to see if Sophia was armed, then around the room for any weapons. She knew well that it didn't need to be a gun, or a knife, to be effective. 

Sophia scoffed, noticing Elizabeth's panic. [color=8882be]"Pfft... I don't want to be the one to pull that trigger. If I die, I'd prefer it to for something I can die for, on a battlefield. How strange, huh? If this is Hell, maybe I'm just a demon that caught up in it all? Probably not, considering."[/color]

[color=6ecff6]"Captain...none of us are demons. We're humans. If you...you seem to believe, and then you should know that we're evil by definition,"[/color] she said, and searched for anything that sounded as though it might help, though it was getting increasingly difficult to combat Sophia's logic, if only because, well, she had no idea how to. [color=6ecff6]"I think perhaps we're evil in varying degrees, and our actions determine how close those get to 'good'. I think what we're doing is undoubtedly good. We're helping people who need it."[/color]

Sophia... laughed. Coming from her, it was oddly disturbing. [color=8882be]"Bullshit. 'We're' just doing all this for the highest bidder, and now because Volkov wants us to. Good-will my ass."[/color]

Sophia then resumed her contemplations.

[color=8882be]"God, Elizabeth... Do you realize how closely your past aligns with mine? Do you even know me? Hell, does anybody know me? What about you? Is there a single shred of 'humanity' underneath that soldier? I can't tell. I can't tell if I have anything too. How hilarious is that?"[/color]

The jab at inhumanity didn't faze her much, Eli wasn't raised to be humanitarian. That said, the idea of Sophia being little else as well came as a surprise, and she was curious just how much the Captain knew about her. Not that there was any way the ordeal could have been disclosed, at least if her mother was to be believed. 

[color=6ecff6]"I know you're an effective Captain. And...I know what we're doing right now is helping New Anchorage. If our work really was only about the money, we wouldn't have allowed so many people to inhabit the settlement. We wouldn't accept refugees. We wouldn't be having conversations like this if all we cared about was our pay."[/color]

[color=8882be]"Well.... That was a good one, I suppose. The simple fact we're having this conversation is an indicator."[/color]

[color=8882be]"... Jackspar, is it strange at all that I do see you.. the entire force as sort of kids I've never got to have? I used to be on that track, a long time ago. Then things started to happen, you know? It's strange, how much life can change in a year or two."[/color]

Eli tried not to dwell on the implications for too long, though it was hard to surpress the grimness that overcame her. She had a creeping suspicion that the analytical approach would not work forever, though she kept trying nonetheless. [color=6ecff6]"You care about our wellbeings, I think that's a defining characteristic of parenting, required even. If you commanded us with distance, I suppose we'd have ended up largely like the NC's we defeat."[/color] 

[color=8882be]"You're more thoughtful then you first seemed. ... 'dismissed', but... one last thing I want to say."[/color]

[color=6ecff6]"Yes, Captain?"[/color]

[color=8882be]"If I 'go missing', don't feel too bad either way. Every passing day, I want to just leave all this more and more. Don't say anything if I do, alright?"[/color]

[color=6ecff6]"A-are you--"[/color] Eli lowered her voice. [color=6ecff6]"Are you suggesting you'll desert?"[/color]

[color=8882be]"Yes."[/color]

Eli froze, but the look she gave Sophia was without fear, or sympathy. [color=6ecff6]"And the people who need you?"[/color]

[color=8882be]"I'm sure they already have a replacement lined up for me. I'll return, either way. One day. I'm an old bitch, but I didn't get this old by being easy to kill."[/color]

Again the girl was silent. Everything in her mind screamed at her to find the nearest official to report to, but all the same her feet would not take her, and her tongue would never betray the Captain. She nodded to Sophia. [color=6ecff6]"Yes, ma'am,"[/color] and started for the door. Perhaps if she'd been raised differently, she might have been able to form a better way to tell Sophia she hoped she would be okay, but it was all Eli could muster.