[quote=@Dead Cruiser] Alright, so we've discussed this a little bit already, so we aren't treading too much new ground here. First, I think Khalaevna is a little young for what she's accomplished. I could more believably see her as being in her mid-twenties or so. Secondly, about her appearance. [i]Cough.[/i] The photograph (which I specifically advised against, mind) is a bit too modern for me. I recommend finding a new image if you still wish to use one. Also, while I acknowledge your preference for, eh, [i]a particular aesthetic[/i], and respect your dedication to it, here's a little food for thought. It was very difficult to gain weight in a premodern society like people do now. This is due to the lack of refined sugars and simple carbohydrates in the average person's diet. A nobleperson could conceivable have access to these luxuries, as well as to a large amount of red, fatty meat, which could fatten them up a bit. However, these amenities are scarce at best in the Age of Dawn, particularly to a queen of barbarians. Just think about it for me. So, as I basically understand it, Thalzamaria was basically one of the balkanized states of Thule that set up soon after the Years of Dusk, and claimed swaths of land in northern Thule and Lemuria. Calling them an "empire" is a bit generous, as in such uncivilized times empires are a somewhat outdated concept. The Kongu were a reasonably-large Lemurian tribe that Thalzamaria came into frequent conflict with. This is how I've interpreted your descriptions, and if I'm getting them wrong in some way, this is the way that they would best fit into the setting. Other than that I have no issues. Khalaevna's goal is to conquer the South with her barbarian horde. Sure, that's fine, but I'd put some thought into whether she just wants to pillage the land or actually rule it. Could be a plot point later. Now, here's the thing with her ideals. Her current ones are fine, but I could see us adding in such concepts as excess, debauchery and corruption. Remember our good friend [url=https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Slaanesh]Slaanesh[/url]? Something like that. I'd happily bend on the issue of aesthetics if we did this, and I'll conspire with you a bit on some later plans for the plot. Other than that, Khalaevna is fine. I like her sword. I hope that it's evil as hell, made by crazy-ass Northmen. [/quote] I'll be honest, I was hoping if a slapped enough filters on the photo it would look like a painting and I'd get away with it xD I'll age her up a bit and find a more appropriate picture. In terms of Slaanesh as an influence I do love me some Chaos gods, even more so if it means I can keep her appearance more in line with what I had intended. Thalzamaria being called an empire is more of a grandiose title, than anything else. A bit like the Holy Roman Empire; "Neither holy, nor Roman, nor an empire". I shall go forth and revise my CS. Shouldn't take too long, and I'll let you know when its been updated. Many thanks for the feedback! [b]----EDIT----- [/b] Made the changes. Let me know what you think.