Goddammit.

She wasn’t haggard and worn like he might have hoped once or twice. She barely looked any different. She was still his best friend’s little sister who hung around them even when they less than kindly hinted at their distaste for her presence. When high school ended and the two boys, hardly worth the namesake of men, moved the half hour away to New Haven, into dorms of one of the most prestigious universities in the country. Nathan almost saw her more frequently then than he did when he practically lived in her house. 

It wasn’t until he saw her repeatedly, over and over again at every Friday night frat party, that he really gave any thought to the conversations he overheard her parents having. When she wasn’t around, he would hear them discuss the trouble they foresaw on the horizon. Her “promiscuous mannerisms” as Mrs. Burke referred to her behavior, “was going to cause real trouble”. Marcy had a lot of older friends. They would bring her up for parties, and they were the drug guys the seniors always seemed to be on good terms with. Though, they were more attracted to the molly and Adderall than Marcy and Nathan’s choices.

It was a Halloween party, which is always the first detail Nathan recalled within this story. It was very early in his freshman year, just over a month past the start of school. He was barely legal, and she wasn’t at all. He recognized her that night, right away, her and her friends were a little late arriving to the party. All the guys there knew damn well she was way too young. He kept his knowledge of her to himself, though. What did it matter to him what his best friend’s baby sister did?

Soon, she was much more than someone’s sister, even now, she was so much more than that. 

‘Oh that face, makes me wanna party,’ he thought as their eyes met. He promised himself he wouldn’t look away from her, for days he’d promised over and over again that he wouldn’t take his eyes off of her. His heartbeat was in his ears now.

It was like he was fifteen again, and he shoved his palms in the pocket of his grey sweats. ‘Don’t say something douchy like you would have in college,’ his conscious muttered, whom Alina had deemed his only useful vice president.

He returned her smile, nervously. Still, he didn’t know why she wanted him here. To see him again, but this time as the leader of her country? Nathan didn’t feel so big in this moment. He couldn’t seem to recall a moment when she did him wrong, but rather the opposite. Every raised voice and every outburst, every assignment and quiz and midterm that he’d blamed on her. The smile on his lips widened as he remembered how it was exactly she’d moaned when he made it up to her…

“I’d really rather Nate,” he confessed, taking a few steps closer. He could smell her, and he never realized it until now, that he’d blocked out the fragrance.

“How have you been holding up?”