Sit down.

Goggles on.

Time to crack those knuckles.

Those claws still need clipping.

What's the time? 8:59 AM. Only a minute.

The automated overnight music broadcast was still going, recycling everything he'd been playing yesterday for the benefit of those insomniacs and people with habits. Of course, just cutting right in would be no good. Unprofessional, even. There has to be a smooth transition, especially in the morning.

Less than twenty seconds remained. The song that was playing suddenly found its beat looping, thanks to outside intervention, which managed to mask the sudden transition to the end quite well. Obviously everyone listening knew what that meant, but that was no excuse for half-assing things.

What does the clock say now? Only seven seconds. It was time to ready that switch.

5... 4... 3... 2... 1.

[center][h1][b]DJ [color=ed145b]D[/color]*[color=ed1c24]Y[/color]*[color=f26522]N[/color]*[color=f7941d]O[/color][/b][/h1][/center]

[color=ed145b]"Friends, Humans, Aliens! Where's the place the sun ain't shining unless a machine tells you it is? That's right, it's 3030! And my machine is telling me it is... 9:00 AM. You're listening to Radio 'Lectric 30, with me, Doctor Dyno! I'm not a real doctor, but I'm definitely here to ease your pain. The pain of climbing up those figurative jagged rocks before you get to the figurative light... 'cause the light certainly ain't coming down here!"[/color]

Dyno paused for a moment to fold his arms and grin to himself a bit. Yet another perfect intro! But this was only the beginning; no call to get cocky. He sidled along the seat at his broadcasting station, reached over and grabbed some papers he'd prepared just after breakfast. They had a bit of a greasy stain on them, but who'd notice? That was one advantage Radio had over TV; no need to waste so much time looking presentable. Sounding presentable, that was different, he knew. He was lucky his voice, while it had that distinctive lizardlike drawl and a bit of an accent that made him pronounce his 'R's very harshly, was still overall quite comprehensible.

[color=ed145b]"I tell you what has just fallen into my hands: a stack of paper with 'NEWS' written at the top in very messy handwriting. You know what means? It means I'm not very good at handwriting, but, more importantly, it means it's time to give you some news, or as I like to call it, the 'unhappy bit'."[/color]

He said this to the listeners in an excited tone, of course making sure he didn't break it when he made the self-deprecating joke. Truth was, his face had already begun to grimace a bit. 'Why's there never anything that's both good news and newsworthy news?' He'd always think to himself. Every time. 

[color=ed145b]"I know I've said this before..."[/color] He began again, momentarily dropping his excited tone to sound more matter-of-fact, [color=ed145b]"...But a sudden and unexpected resurgence in complaints has convinced me to reiterate: I do not report on Gang activity unless it affects the rest of us in some way. There's plenty of radio stations that cover that already, and much better than me. I mean, have you heard how they report? Such zeal! It's almost as if they're in a war or something. But that'd be stupid, wouldn't it, listeners?"[/color] He posed them a question in an obviously sarcastic manner, lest it fly over someone's head. Of course it'd fly over someone's head anyway, but at least they'd look like an idiot in front of everyone and not just him.

[color=ed145b]"Here's the top story."[/color] He started reading out his greasy bit of paper, scratching his neck a bit in embarassment, if only because this 'top story' was quite late. His news sources weren't exactly award-winning, but he had always vowed to maintain at least some standards. Not like the Gang stations were much better.

[color=ed145b]"...Two nights ago, a robbery was committed near the border with Siren Clan territory, around the 22nd Quarter. Now, robberies aren't especially remarkable, I hear you saying, so what makes this one so special? Well, this is where it gets interesting. The target of the robbery was an Armoured Landspeeder; a witness handed this information to me via my special friend downstairs; thank you, Teema. Apparently, it occurred at around midnight, or so the clocks said. The inhabitants of a nearby apartment building were woken up by the sound of an explosion. Most of the residents began to hide from the chaos, as is the sane response, but one resident managed to catch a look at what happened next. From their description, four armed men, dressed in black and their faces hidden, then shot the guards inside the armoured speeder; female, apparently; and removed two large packages from the back compartment before melting into the shadows. 

The lower floors of the apartment were severely damaged from the crash, and three people were injured: Pog Tangosk, Aytcheh Shoetland and Udonna Stuu. Apparently, all three of them were near the main entrance, whereupon the crash showered them with glass and knocked a water supply line out of place, flooding the entire bottom floor of the apartment. Pog was reportedly blinded in all three eyes by high-pressure water. 

Just goes to show how unpredictable life is, eh? One minute everything's all good, the next, you're wading knee-deep through grimy water in your living room, stinking up the place, and you end up tripping over and giving yourself a faceful of the stuff because you're now blind. Who could have guessed that would happen, I wonder? Just know that I'm rooting for ya. I'd come help, but my tech skills don't really go much further than Swoop Bikes and Synthtone Boards, boom-boom-tik-a-tik."[/color]

Dyno turned his page over and smiled to himself again. In any other news organisation, no-one would bother mentioning a measly three victims of an accident by name. But Dyno did it anyway, because it reminded the people that the Gang's activities were not harmless; their victims were real people, with real names and real consequences. Though he did shamefully admit to himself, mentally, that the image of the high-pressure water blinding someone was actually a little funny.

[color=ed145b]"Next, there has also been some reports of a robed, indistinct man carrying what has been described as an oversized blue glowstick that can cleave through bodies and machinery effortlessly. The figure is also believed to have been witnessed using his mind to pick up Gang members and break their necks against the floor. No sign of any bodies, though, and my source had refused to identify themselves, so it's still up in the air whether or not this figure exists or is just a Herb-induced hallucination. In all honesty, I personally believe it's the latter. I mean, I once took Herb on Saleucami, and before I knew it there were glowsticks growing out of the karking swamp! But you never know."[/color]

It was always important, in Dyno's mind, to pepper 'serious' segments of his show with some anecdotes like that. Makes him much more relatable when you admit that, yes, you're not above the influence either, in more ways than one.

[color=ed145b]"Finally, I've also been told that a large section of the 103rd Quarter has now been evacuated due to an out-of-control infestation of Duracrete Worms reducing a number of apartment buildings to rubble. So far, only one resident of these apartments is unaccounted for; I don't know his name, but he is apparently an Utai. Not many Utai are seen around these parts, so this may be time for a Public Service Announcement; my favourite!"[/color] He said faux-excitedly again, audibly clapping his scaly hands together.

[color=ed145b]"The Utai, they're a rather short people, naturally. They tend to have skin ranging from golden to a more... muted pink. They're a hairless species; their heads are oblong-shaped and slope forward, and their eyes are mounted on distinctive stalks."[/color] Dyno took another moment to pause, coming to a rather inconvenient realisation. One that'd he share, of course. [color=ed145b]"...Yeah, believe me, you have no idea how hard it is for me to describe a species in words without sounding racist, heh. But anyway, if you see anyone fitting that description in the area, you should go take a closer look, see if they're okay. Don't worry about the Duracrete Slugs; they're far more interested in the local architecture than they are in you, and I believe that the K-Bros. Extermination Service is on the case, so hang in there, boys and girls!"[/color]

Dyno abruptly tossed away his paper, making a mental note to add to his food-wrapping collection later. Once again, he clapped his hands, now legitimately excited that'd he'd gotten past the 'unhappy bit' relatively unscathed. At least this time he didn't have to talk about cannibals.

[color=ed145b]"...Aaaand that's the end of the news for now. But stay tuned, for there's some MUSIC comin' up! Don't forget noon, when I, for the first time since last week, will be taking calls! That's right, for just one day untilnextweek"[/color] He announced grandiosely, except for the quick, under-his-breath part at the end, so thinly-veiled so as to draw attention to it, [color=ed145b]"...You can call in and ask me whatever the hell you want! Or you can constructively criticise me, that'd be great. Or you could yell in my face about something, that'd also be great. I take all comers!"[/color]

Now for his favourite part. Dyno put on a big grin as he leaned forward to start fiddling the music selection Terminal on his right.

[color=ed145b]"But that's enough yakety-yak from me. It's time to get some [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHMgUOFnhWI]'Lectric tunes[/url] in this house, that I was so excited about I yelled MUSIC back there. Remember, you've been listening to DJ Dyno at Radio 'Lectric 30! Electrifying the spirit of Coruscant, one decibel at a time!"[/color]

As the tune began, Dyno removed his headset and leaned back in his seat, happily putting his feet on the table and bopping his head back and forth. He looked to his right and noticed an unused Herbal cigar. His hand almost instinctively reached over for it, but he stopped himself. It was only 9:12, damnit. Though it did draw his attention to his claws again; they were way too sharp. They could leave a scratch on something.

[color=ed145b]"...Kark it."[/color] He mumbled to himself as he got up and headed to his bathroom, making sure the music was a volume high enough so that he could hear it from the other side of the apartment. He knew that this would annoy him for the rest of the day if he didn't sort it out.