Sophia was never the type of girl to go on an adventure. She used to be quiet. Reserved. Restrained. The kind of girl more suited to some religious venue in an unremarkable part of the world. In a parallel world maybe she was, but in this dimension the worst possible situation had happened. She was being chased, and she was being chased by an ugly huge ass snake. It was something of a freak accident as she burst into the tower through a bubble of space and time. Kaboom! Chu! Chu! Whizzing through the air on top of her guitar, shooting lasers through her eye glasses. 

It was a horrible, horrendous tragedy as the snake would not die! Instead, like some vengeance smitten spirit, it kept moving and spewing guts everywhere! If she got too close it would most likely expire in an explosion of blood. Yes! Blood! On her undeniably awesome looking school uniform, neon blue hair, and stylish headphones. What kind of terrible satanic power compelled this freak of nature to keep on moving? Why couldn’t it you know run as far away in the opposite direction? 

It’s like pulling out a gun in a knife fight and the man still barrels towards you. Pow. Pow. Pow. What? You think this gun is fake? You think you aren’t dying? Yes, this cool girl may be tiny and small, but she is kicking your ass snake! Run away! Please! But no! Instead of running away this thing decided to spit freaken acid everywhere through some guttural cord hidden in whatever was left of its throat, melting everything around it in a muddled putrid goop that smelled horrifically of burnt eggplant.

Eventually, skipping the large bits where she cleverly trapped it between two cogs and had it bite its own face, this cool girl chopped its head off. Yes, chopped its mountainous repulsive head clean off with a toothpick of a katana not one hundredth of its size. That was how awesome this girl was. She also poked its heart, lungs, liver, and all the other vital organs that had not been blasted into scolding bits by her eye lasers to make sure the deed was doubly done. A huge river of blood then poured out of the things headless body, causing her to scream and run away to a safe distance on the massive cog she and the very dead snake carcass were on.

“Whew,” she exclaimed, relieved that none of her clothes got dirty. It took her five hours to prepare herself for the world. What kind of sick mind wants her to go through all that again! And then it was at this time, Sophia realized she was no longer in a jungle. Not surprisingly, she got very confused. She even had to pull out her mirror to make sure she hadn’t somehow been dreaming this up. No, she was still wearing the same clothes, had her backpack, and there were some marks on her cheek from when she messed up her lipstick. 

No. Not dreaming. Which means… No clue what happened! Where is she?! Freak mode initiate. Breakdown commence. Some evil genius must have trapped her in some insane experiment. Or maybe she had drank too much of that weird juice she found in the jungle. Drugs! Is it drugs? What happened! She paced around in circles, out of her mind, looking at the large cog beneath her feet, then at the gray wisps of space-time floating about, then at the ceiling which was full of gears behind gears behind gears. It made no sense!

She never saw any of this stuff until today. Obviously, not cool! And when it couldn’t get any worse the snake exploded. Yes, exploded. Its body bloated up suddenly in one final act of defiance and then boom! A large deafening ring rocked her off her feet and the whole thing came crashing down with the grace of dying goose. Plop. Plop. The sickening sound of millions of tons of decaying flesh falling on your face. Sophia nearly went into shock, metaphorically, and sat there in chunks of snake flesh, with a look of confusion being replaced with one of pure rage.

“What the heck!” she screamed. She stood up and bounced up and down in fit. Hollering and running around kicking and punching snake flesh. She started swinging her katana chopping it to even more pieces and spurting even more blood on herself. She then sat and laughed manically to herself cutting a piece of snake meat into smaller and smaller slices until the bits were only as big as her pinky finger. 

Satisfied after mutilating the dead bits for it danmable behavior towards mankind’s greatest treasure (her looks), Sophia calmly collected herself, breathing slowly in a nice controlled manner. She then calmly, very calmly, extracted whatever was sticking onto her by pushing an outward metaphysical force called a wave through her body. It was kind of like her special mutant power. Some people have lasers. She has an invisible force that magnifies, shapes, and tosses energy and objects. 

Sophia then pulled out a mirror, took a few good whiffs of perfume, dashed a bit of cologne to reshape her hair, straightened the frills of her skirt, and tossed it all back into the little briefcase she carried along with her iphone. Standing up in a very calm manner, she then quietly muttered curses about how she will murder the next person she sees for some illogical reason. And that is how this cool girl ended up on the middle of a cog in the middle of nowhere.