[@Loony]There is no meaning in death, Loony, because Death is the end. It is finality incarnate, and it should not be what you turn to in your darkest hours to give your life purpose. I don't know nearly as much about you  as I'd like to, but what I do know that death isn't the answer to your problem, even if you think the problem is yourself. Because death isn't a solution to any problem, no matter how dire.